Monday, August 2, 2004

TURBLENCE IN THE AIR

TURBULENCE IN THE AIR

COMING HOME

I flew across the country on Saturday. I returned to Ohio after three weeks in Santa Barbara, California.

 I boarded a small plane and we took off from the Santa Barbara airport. The turbulence started as we climbed to 27 thousand feet and it continued until we landed in Salt Lake City. I was thankful to be safe on the ground again and breathed a sigh of relief, as did the other passengers. I'm not certain but I think the pilots did too!

I was certain that the next leg of the trip would be smooth. It was on a 757 jet and a big plane was better than a small one...I thought!

The take off was bumpy and the big plane swayed in the turbulence. I decided that once we reached 37 thousand feet....all would be well.

No So.....We were never served beverages because the stewards had to stay buckled in just like the rest of us. So, we bumped and swayed and hit air pockets for nearly 4 hours. I tried to write to keep my mind off of the situation but the turbulence was so great that I could not write or read. I just had to hang on and hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.

I was aware that I had no control over what was happening to me and that I had to trust the pilots of the plane who were strangers, to get me home safely.

That experience is what I feel Peggy is living every day. No control over her life and trusting that others will get her home safely and take care of her.

I knew this morning, as I talked with her that she had no idea who she was talking with on the phone. There was hesitation in her voice as she answered the simple questions that I asked her.

It is a strange feeling to talk with a sister that I know so well and at the same time, wrap my mind around the fact that she doesn't know or remember who I am any longer.

Alzheimer's is the turbulence that swirls in Peggy's mind. It constantly bumps, sways and causes her to hit air pockets. Keeping her mind off guard and her thoughts jumbled.

I landed safely on Saturday evening and was home again.  I have some control over my life and I can choose how I will react to any situation that life throws my way.

Peggy's journey with Alzheimer's disease piloting the plane of her mind, will continue to be a bumpy ride for the rest of her life and.........

She will never land safely or be at home until her plane crashes.

As long as Alzheimer's controls her mind....It is in total control and Peggy is just along for the ride.

The one thing that Peggy doesn't know is that all her sister's and her brother are running beside the plane or riding in the Alzheimer's plane with her.......

She just doesn't know who we are any longer. We are just nice people who are passengers on the same plane while she continues the ride of her life!     Her airplane journey to Disappear!

I LOVE You Today, Peggy and  I'll be right there with you...Always!

Mary Louise

2 comments:

caragricke said...

Bueatifully written.  I could picture Peggy as she keeps hitting the air pockets and turbulence of Alzheimer's.  caragricke

kman1087 said...

I stumbled upon your journal by accident a month ago and have read it ever since. You seem to be such a great sister and it is so sad that you and your family have to go through this. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and would like to let you know that you have given me so much more of an apreciation for the people around me. God Bless