AND A LITTLE CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM....
Peggy had a child like quality in her voice this morning. She laughed at everything I said, even hello, this is Mary Louise.
Some Alzheimer's patients get hostile, abusive and violent. I'm glad that Peggy has only had brief periods of this type of behavior. For the most part, she has continued to go backward in time in a gentle spirit. I imagine her brain is functioning at a two to three year old level at present.
As we get older, we forget how to be a child and laugh and have enjoyment over the small things. Things like the green of grass, the sun, a fluffy cloud, the smell and feel of rain as we open our mouth to catch a drop on our tongue, while we twirl around. The beauty of the yellow flower of a dandelion, which as an adult we consider to be a weed but as a child we gathered them and proudly gave them to our parents as a gift. There are many other things that as an adult, I had taken for granted. Now, I am re-learning to appreciate small joy's day by day.
Peggy has taught me to see the world through the eyes of a child again. To appreciate the world around me as if I were 5 years old.
She has taught me to play and even tell knock-knock jokes. I now stop what I am doing to dance around the kitchen. While I was in Santa Barbara a few weeks ago, I fell on my back in front of people on the beach to make a sand angel for Peggy. That was something that the old, grown- up Mary Louise would not have done because...what would people think!!
I have learned because of Peggy's disease, not to worry as much about what people think of me and to live my life like there is no tomorrow because maybe...there isn't.
Peggy has taught me to appreciate the small joys in my life that I had put aside to be an adult.
Alzheimer's disease is a terrible, vicious disease but tucked inside of the horror of watching Peggy disappear.......
I have learned to live a fuller life. I have learned to live today with laughter and tears because I am not promised tomorrow.
Peggy continues to teach and guide me even as she continues to disappear from my life.
Thank You Peggy for the lessons that you are teaching me while you are disappearing. There is one thing that I can never learn and will not learn and that is.....
How to not.... miss you more than I can write.
( Peggy saying Goodbye)
I Love You Today, Peggy!