It seems that every day there is something new to deal with while talking to Peggy.
Yesterday and today when the conversation ended, I would tell her that I loved her today and then say good-bye. She would say good-bye but not hang up the phone. I said, I'll call you tomorrow, bye. She would say bye and not hang up the phone. This went on for a few times before I realized that she didn't remember that she needed to hang up the phone. Finally, I said, I Love You, Peggy. I'll call you tomorrow. You can hang up the phone now. She said, O. K. and did.
It took a while before I was able to write today. The words just stirred around in my heart and wouldn't come out. Just a simple task like hanging up the phone...Gone! At least it has been this way for these two day's. It might all change next week. I never know what to expect or how to prepare my heart when I call and talk to her.
I used the words "Talk TO her" and not WITH her because she can no longer carry on a conversation. I just keep talking and she answers with one word. I am thankful that she can still repeat what is said to her. She has Not given up and knowing Peggy...She never will!
The sitter told me this morning that Peggy had a big smile on her face when she told her that I on the phone. So, I guess it is worth all of the pain that it causes my heart to call every day.
Alzheimer's pokes at her brain every minute with the precision of a swordsman. It uses a sharp blade to cut out a little more of Peggy's memory. I can almost hear the clanging of the sword's metal in her speech each day. It is an unfair duel because Peggy has no way of picking up her sword and fighting back.
I still have trouble believing that this is happening to her.
Maybe, I'll wake up one morning and find that this has all been a Very Bad Dream!
A Horrible dream about the disease Alzheimer's and my Baby Sister, Peggy.
I Love You Today, Peggy!