Monday, December 8, 2003

I Wonder What It Feels Like????????

I wasn't able to write after talking with Peggy this morning. I had to take some time to think and adjust. I am having difficulty getting to know this new Sister. A sister who doesn't remember that we are sister's! A sister that doesn't remember Me!

 I  have so many unanswered questions.

 I wish that Peggy could answer my questions because I would like to know how she feels.

I try not to project my feeling on her because I know that My feeling are contaminated with Today, Yesterday and Tomorrow.

 Peggy's Yesterday's and tomorrow's have been erased from her mind!

I just wonder what it feels like to Not Know.. Familiar people and things.

To Just BE...  To know only Now. 

 Peggy is very calm and happy. She seems at Peace living in the Now and that gives Me some peace in my cluttered life of Yestersay's, Today's and Tomorrow's.

She doesn't remember the Hurts of her past nor does she have any fear of her future.

Even though some things about her are the same... Peggy is just not Peggy any longer. She is not the sister that I grew up with and  knew very well. 

I am having to meet and adjust to a new Peggy everyday.

 A Peggy that experiences neither Highs or Lows....... She has No expectations, No Anticipation, No Passion.

I wonder if  this new Peggy can still feel Joy...Or even experience Sorrow? 

 Peggy has taught me many things by having Alzheimer's Disease.

 She has taught me to live in the present and not wander in the past and future for too long at a time!

Who would have thought that Peggy's Disease would teach me such a valuable lesson!

 I am very thankful  that Peggy can still laugh and smile even though she can't remember!

What a Beautiful Person..What a Beautiful Smile! I will alway's remember YOU!

 I love you today, Peggy!!!!

Mary Louise

1 comment:

marcusluvrr said...

I like ur Journal it's ok
from, me
P*S* I like ur journal it is rly nice
pls dont IM me nor e-mail thanks
merry christmas (i guess)