Tuesday, June 29, 2004



I'm not sure which is worse...losing someone you love suddenly or losing someone you love slowly. I don't know about the suddenly but I know, first hand about the slowly. 

When a loved one dies suddenly...you don't have a chance to say good-bye.  Alzheimer's disease gives you a long time to say good-bye but with one major catch....the person who is going away cannot say good-bye... back to you.

 Our family is living...The Long Good-bye.

Peggy is stretching her arms to heaven. She is reaching out to touch the face of God and will continue to struggle for years.  Other's touch God's face in an instant.

I wish that I could let her stand on my shoulders so that her reach would be longer and her fingers could softly touch the face of God..

Even though I will miss her when she reaches her goal. I will celebrate with her when her Long Good-bye is over.

Alzheimer's disease has been a teacher. It has taught me how fragile life is and the pain of not being able to say good-bye. 

 Alzheimer's has taught me patience, persistence, fear, frustration, anger and what a living death really means.

It has taught me that it is harder on family members to watch a loved one disappear than it is on the person afflicted with the disease.

It has taught me that Alzheimer's is not just an elderly person's disease. It can strike a young woman in her 40's with just as much vengeance.

Alzheimer's disease has taught me that a Sister is forever........death will not end our sister bond....

Even as she continues to disappear from my life.

I Love You Today, Peggy! 

Love You....Mean It!!!

Mary Louise




mlrhjeh said...

If you visit my journal again...please leave me your E-mail address so that I can send you Peggy and Ricky's address and phone number.
Mary Louise

floralilia said...

succulent wisdom

kkasey47 said...

i pray for you both everyday , You are both in my thoughts

lisbnjvi said...

Mary, I don't know what to say.  I am sitting here only having read about 8 of your entries with tears in my eyes.  You are showing me a side to this terrible disease I never would have thought of.  I now fully understand what my grandmother went through for 3 years watching my grandfather die a slow death, all his memories forgotten of her and the life they shared.  I wish there was a way to cure Alzeheimer's, they say stem cell research will do this.  I don't know if that's true or not, but to slowly fade away with this disease has to be the hardest thing for a family to face and also the person.  My thoughts are with you and I will be back daily to check in.
Hugs and lots of love to you and your family,

carolhehe said...

It has also taught me that not only old people get this disease. It scares the daylights out of me. I think it is easier to loose a love one instantly then from a long time disease. My mother suffered from strokes over a long time and I would pray everyday for her release from this life.

sugerb6 said...

I lost my mom suddenly March 1999, I lost my baby sister to cancer March 2006. Both deaths were so hard for me to cope with. I thank God my mom did not have to suffer. Though I grieved for my lil sis as she walked her journey, to see her suffer broke my heart.