Peggy didn't want to talk with me today. She crunched on ice as I tried to talk with her. How fitting, I thought because her mind has turned to winter and all of her memories are frozen. I felt frozen out of her life this morning and dismissed by the winter of Alzheimer's.
I got tired of trying to talk through the ice and said good bye and that I loved her today.
Her response was... crunch, crunch..O K.
I am completely frozen out of her thoughts and all of my summer memories cannot melt the ice in her mind.
I keep visiting our old playground hoping to find her there. To see her smiling, laughing and talking to me again while we swing together in the summer sun.
Peggy no longer remembers our play ground or me. She cannot recall the fun we had in the warmth of our youth.
She doesn't remember the hours we spent on the swings trying to reach the clouds with our feet. She doesn't remember jumping off and sailing through the air. She doesn't remember the laughter or the tears when we fell to the ground.
I will keep visiting the playground and hope that one day...The sun will be shining and the snow and ice will have melted. And for that moment in time...We will swing again in the warmth of our summer memories. We will swing as high as the clouds and on that last jump from the swings.....Peggy will not land on the ground but in the arms of the angels. They will take her to a safe place where there is only warmth and the winter in her mind will be melted at last.
After Peggy is gone...I will continue to visit the old swing set in my mind. I can see Peggy's empty swing moving in the wind. It brings a smile to my face because the swing's continued movement is Peggy.... waving hello to me.
I Love You Today, Peggy!