Monday, June 21, 2004


Peggy was quiet today and answered with one word to anything that I said.

I told her about our cookout-swim yesterday and how Jordan and Lauren reminded me of us when we were girls. They were sitting on the stone bench by the pond talking about life just like we did so long ago.

I told Peggy about the picture of us sitting on a stone bench at home and how it made me smile. I asked her if she remembered living at 1805 St. Charles Court. I described how we sat on the bench and talked when we were girls... I recounted in detail how we would sit there and talk about everything.



There was no recognition in her voice and tears filled my eyes.

 Peggy and I grew up.... We left the stone bench in our past. 

 We left our bench to make way for a new generation of Sisters.  

  A new generation to take their place on the bench. To sit there, side by side and talk about life and dream about the future.

Peggy's future has been decided for her by Alzheimer's disease. She is now sleep walking through life and going through the motion of living. Her mind is becoming as cold as the stone bench from our youth.

I wish with all my heart that we could travel back through time to the stone bench at 1805 St. Charles Court. Travel back one more time to sit on our bench and talk.

The stone bench is empty now.  It is waiting for two more little girls to come and sit and talk....

I wish that Peggy and I could sit side by side on the bench again and talk about life with all the excitement of youth.

I wish that we could have one hour to sit on our stone bench at home...... I wish that I could put my arm around her shoulders....

Just to say... Good-Bye.


I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise




barbpinion said...

I wish you could do all these things too, dear one. I'm so sorry you can't.
Bless you. **Barb**

shayreen1 said...

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pawsadam said...

This is a very touching story. I am glad to see you are using this journal to imortalize your sister. My grandfather also has Alzheimer's and it is important to not let your memories be tainted by the person you see now. Keep the good memories fresh so when you look back you see the life of the person you grew up with.

tejasbabs said...

A beautiful tribute to your sister and your shared childhood.  My mama (in Texas) died in 1997 from the ravages of Alzheimer's.  I was 1400 miles away for most of the six years she walked down the path to nothingness.  Each time I went home I could see and hear what was happening to her.  My dear Daddy was 10 years older, they had been married for over 50 years at the time, and he just couldn't understand what was happening to his best friend, the wife, lover, mother he had always cherished.  In my last visit, she locked me out of the house when I arrived because "her daughter from California was expected and you aren't her."  I was there for two weeks and when we left, we drove only sixty miles away on our 1400 mile journey home, checked into a motel and I cried for the next four hours.  We have such good memories to share, don't we?  But the other person doesn't remember.  Just know that Peggy is not suffering--you and I suffer for them.  My prayers will be with you and your Peggy.  Barb Deming, San Marcos, CA.