Wednesday, October 20, 2004


I enjoy putting puzzles together on the cold, gray nights of winter.

I place a card table in the family room and start my puzzle by sorting the pieces. I always do the outside of the puzzle first and slowly fill in the center. When all of the pieces are in place, the puzzle becomes a wonderful picture. After my puzzle is completed, I enjoy the picture for a while and then jumble the puzzle pieces and put them back in their box until I decide to put it together again. 

I think of Peggy's life as a puzzle. When she was born, life started putting the pieces of her puzzle together. One moment and one day at a time, another piece was added to complete Peggy.

When she grew into a woman, all the pieces were in place and the puzzle that was Peggy was complete.

A few years ago, Alzheimer's disease chose a young Peggy and began to remove the all of the puzzle pieces that made her who she was.

It has continued to take pieces from her mind and today, the puzzle that was Peggy is almost completely taken apart.

The pieces of her memory are lying on the floor of her mind......all jumbled up. 

There is no way to fit the pieces of Peggy's puzzle back together because I have tried. I would pick up a puzzle piece that contained a shared memory and try to fit it back into her mind with every phone call to her.

The pieces of her mind and body are so scattered now that no one can fit the pieces of her life back together and make her whole again.

I am reminded of the nursery rhythm about Humpty Dumpty as I watch Peggy disappear.

Peggy Jane was sitting on a wall...

Peggy Jane had a great fall...

And all of her family and all of her friends...

Couldn't put Peggy back together again.

The Peggy that I knew and loved has been taken apart by Alzheimer's disease and put into a box, all jumbled up.

She can only be put back together again when she reaches a place where the Master Puzzle Maker lives.

When Peggy reaches that place, the Master Puzzler will open the box that contains all of the pieces of Peggy. The Master will take the puzzle pieces of Peggy out, sort them and say.. 

I will put Peggy's head together first so that I can see her beautifuleyes and her bright smile. Then, she can tell me all of the memories that her mind has stored and saved for this day.

 When that occurs.....

The Peggy that I knew..... will be whole again.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise





blufaery84 said...

ohh. that brought tears :'-(
Best kindest regards to you and peggy!

spurgins311 said...

So sad about your sister. It is hard to watch, hard to live through! My grandmother had it for about 15 years and we slowly watched her forget everything. The last year of her life was spent in a nursing home. Mom just wasn't able to take care of her. When we would visit, she didn't know who we were. She didn't know who she was. We could only tell how she felt by asking her how old she was that day. If she answered "I am 300 years old today," then we knew she felt bad. If she said, "Why, I am 5 years old," she was feeling good. She didn't know us, but we knew her and loved her so much. Every night, my Mom, me and my daughter would go to the nursing home to see her, feed her, and just LOVE her, while we still had her. At the time, I grew weary of the visiting every night, but looking back, I am so glad I did and have those special last memories of my Grandma. My Mom is gone now too. Just me and my 33 year old daughter. We are real close.

Thank you for visiting my journal-Always Promise Yourself. I am glad you left a link so that I could visit yours. I will link to it, for I want to keep in touch and see how you and your sister are doing.

God Bless you both. :)

peppypioneer said...

As always, your tribute to your sister is lovely and heartbreaking at the same time.  I hope that your chronicaling her illness and decline helps you as much as it helps us readers.  Paulette