Peggy and I always loved to tap dance. We would tape pennies to our shoes and tap away on the sidewalk in front of our house. Those are some of the memories of Peggy that make me smile.
But, have you ever heard the phrase, "I'm dancing as fast as I can?"
That is the way that I felt when I finished my call to Peggy this morning.
My heart was tired from dancing when I hung up the phone.
I had to dance around her silences, dance around her struggle for words, dance with my sparklers lit while talking and pretending that everything was normal.
If love and dancing were enough, I could love and dance Peggy well.
If love and dancing were enough, I would dance with her forever.
Sometimes, Love is not enough!
Sometimes, I can't dance fast enough!
Sometimes, the sparklers get wet and go out as I continue to tap away.
No matter how fast I dance, I cannot stop the cloud of Alzheimer's from gathering around Peggy's head.
No Matter how fast I dance, I cannot stop Alzheimer's from drenching her with a cold rain.
I search my mind for something, anything that will make it easier for Peggy and for me to dance through this storm.
All that I can think to do is...
Grab my umbrella of memories and cover our heads to protect us while we dance.
While we continue to dance this dance of Peggy's disappearance........
I promise you, Peggy that I will continue to dance with you even as you forget how to dance.
There is no way to stop Alzheimer's disease so...
We will just dance together under the umbrella of my memories. I will try to keep you dry and make sure our sparklers stay lit!
We will dance and I will remember.........
Two little girls with pennies taped to their shoes.
I LOVE YOU TODAY, PEGGY!