Thursday, March 11, 2004

TRYING TO BE O.K.

I am thankful for the break through in Alzheimer's detection. At the same time...I am am feeling so much sadness that it came too late to help Peggy.

She couldn't talk to me today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe...Tomorrow.

It feels like my heart is lying in little pieces all over the floor this morning. It has been a crying day, a sad day.

I miss my sister, Peggy. I miss our talks when one of us has had a lousy week.    This has been a lousy week for me, health wise. Everything hurts, even my hair!       I know that I will get better but I know that Peggy will only get worse.

So, with everything hurting, even my hair...I am crawling around on the floor with a basket. I am looking for the pieces of my heart that I threw away in frustration.

After I find my heart, I will wrap up in a blanket and curl up on the sofa and cry until I go to sleep. A good cry is all the words that my heart can't say! It is a cleansing of the soul.   It is washing out my heart so it will be clean and ready to make that call to Peggy tomorrow.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise  

7 comments:

auntyeeyee622 said...

Awe hun, I hate that you are havin' to go thru this. I just cant even imagine your pain. You are an inspiration to me. Deanna

kemh632 said...

My Grandma had it. I was too little to understand it. I'm sared that I'll get it too!

rha4497496 said...

ML: What would Peggy say to you if she knew how heart broken you are? I bet she'd take you into her arms and tell you not to worry and be sad. I think she'd kiss away your tears and tell you there is a brighter future for her, you and all of us that BELIEVE. If I were in Peggy's shoes and talking to my beloved sister, Kim I'd tell her to look forward to us meeting again when we are both whole. God will take care of Peggy. God Bless you and Peggy! You are always in my prayers. Robyn

blufaery84 said...

****Blessings to both of you!! You sre in my prayers****

barbpinion said...

Mary, I am so sorry you are hurting so much. Crying is all one can do sometimes, honey. Then, tomorrow comes and we're surprised to see how strong we really are. I hold you in prayer. HUGS, Barb

caragrike said...

ML, Keep writing please. Sometimes crying is all we can do. As you know, there are several hymns that we sing "Have faith in God, He's on His Throne. Have Faith in God, He watches over His own....and another song.."His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me...." Remember when you and Peg sang beautiful duets at church (Berney Points Baptist in B'ham), please sing them in your heart now. I love you.....caragrike

sugerb6 said...

Tears are our stepping stones as we travel this journey with our loved ones.
Debbie