Monday, March 29, 2004

SEARCHING FOR BLESSINGS IN GRIEF

There are blessings in grief.  I just have to search to find them.

What has my grief over Watching Peggy Disappear taught me?

 If it has taught me nothing but Anger...my blessings will be lost.

If it has taught me nothing but Bitterness... my blessings will be lost.

If it has taught me nothing but Pain...my blessings will be lost.

If it has taught me nothing but Fear..my blessings will be lost.

If it has taught me nothing but Uncertainty...my blessings will be lost.

If it has taught me nothing but Resentment...my blessings will be lost.

Watching Peggy Disappear has taught me all of those things...Anger, bitterness, pain, fear uncertainty and resentment but it has also taught me more.

Watching Peggy Disappear has taught me......

To live in the Moment.

To appreciate my memories.

To tell the people that I love.. that I love them every single day.

To control my fear and not the other way around.

To find strength in my grieving.

To embrace my grieving and live through it.

To know that nothing is forever..Today is the day.

To know that joy comes not only in perfect words and sentences but in the sound of a voice.

To know that we only have this moment in time.

To know that memories may be all we have of someone that we love.

To know when to let go and when to hold on.

To know that joy can be heard in a voice over the phone. A voice that doesn't know who I am on some days but still knows my familiar sound.

To not take any thing for granted.

To let go of anger that I feel  toward a person.

To enjoy getting in my car and driving to the grocery store.

To appreciate being able to dress myself, to bathe and go to the bathroom alone.

Peggy continues to teach me every day with her courage, her spirit and her struggle to Not give up!

If she can keep working that hard to have a life for herself then...I am so very blessed today!

Out of The Prison of Alzheimer's Disease Peggy has reached inside my soul and touched it to make me a better, more caring person. A more aware and gentle person. A more tender and open person.

She has made me realize the blessing of my everyday life and how special all of my moments are.

She still teaches me through the pain of Watching Her Disappear by the sound of her voice and laughter.

I thank you Peggy for everything that you are and have taught me as you struggle with this disease.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

 

1 comment:

queenz43 said...

Hello, I came by to thank you for visiting my journal. I have stopped by here as well and will admit I do not always comment but mostly take in, and hope I can learn something from the love you have for your sister and the love your family has for each other. I hope to see you again. All the best,
~RC~