When Mother and Daddy died, I felt such a sense of loss. Even though I was a grown woman, I felt like I was an orphan. I became aware that no matter how much I wanted too..I could never go home again. I could never walk through the front door of 1805 St. Charles Court and yell...I'm Home!!! I would never see Mother sitting at the kitchen table drinking her coffee or Daddy working in the back yard.
I could never lie on the bed in the front bedroom and sleep soundly knowing that I was home and safe. I could never sit down to a meal at the kitchen table and hear all the familiar voices of my childhood.
This is what it feels like to watch Peggy disappear with Alzheimer's Disease. The part of my life that was shared with Peggy is over and I can never go Home to her again. Just like Mother and Daddy...she is no longer there. She is no longer Home.
The house she has lived in is being emptied.... One piece of furniture at a time.
All I can do is stand in the front yard and watch as all her belongings are loaded onto a truck. All of the furniture that made Peggy who she was is being loaded in a moving van and being taken to a destination that I can never visit.
Every call that I make to her confirms that she is leaving.
As I watch the truck pull away...I can see Peggy leaning out of the window, waving and smiling. I hear her saying,
Goodbye, M. L. Be happy for me because.......
I am going Home!!
All I can do is smile at her and wave as she leaves. Tears choke my voice as I wisper...Goodbye Peggy. I'll miss you more than You can Remember!
Happy is the person who knows what to remember of the past, what to enjoy in the present, and what to plan for the future. A. Glason
I Love You Today, Peggy!