I talked to Peggy this morning from Santa Barbara and I told her that I loved her today, she said, I KNOW. I Know that You Know, Peggy. That felt so good until I said, Love You-Mean It! Then she said, I love you too,Baby! My heart fell! I don't think she knew that it was me today.
I am writing from beautiful Santa Barbara, California. It is 1:20 am and I can't get to sleep. It has been a busy, wonderful day. I spent the day at Bacara, a resort and spa over looking the Pacific Ocean. The spaday was my Christmas gift from Ross. Tonight, we had a delicious dinner on a mountain over looking the city of Santa Barbara. I walked out on the terrace and looked up at the bright stars that covered the sky and wondered why Peggy called me Baby! I keep trying to move forward with my life and then...A wondering question comes into my head about Peggy. I looked up at the stars tonight and hoped that they will spell out an answer.... Then, I thought of this song by Boy's 2 Men. AH HA.. My Answer! "How do I say goodbye to what we had. The good times that made us laugh outweighed the bad. I thought we'd get to see forever but forever's gone away. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday! And I'll take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday".
That's why I am still awake tonight, I guess. Trying to find some way to say goodbye to yesterday and to Peggy. I know that it will be a day by day process of letting go but Can't It Hurry Up??? I'm not sure why 3 little letters... "BYE"..... take a life time to put into practice. No matter where I go in life..I will always be struggling to Get those 3 little letters Out of my Mind and Into My Heart.Another day of Trying to say... Goodbye to Peggy and Yesterday! I love You Today, Peggy!