Tuesday, February 1, 2005

THE FERRIS WHEEL

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could schedule our grief.

If we could schedule our grief for 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening.  The rest of our day and night would be grief free. Free from the realization that we are losing or have lost someone that we love.

The 30 minute grief time in the morning could contain all of our tears and sadness and when the 30 minutes were over...smiles and happy thoughts would cover our minds until the grief time would arrive again in the evening.

Unfortunately, grief does not work that way. Grief stays with us as we live the minutes of our day and as we dream our dreams at night.

Grief is like a Ferris wheel that comes around over and over. We ride in the Ferris wheel car and go around and around. We ride the car up and ride the car down as we experience our grief.

The grief Ferris wheel never stops but.........

When we are on the top of the giant grief wheel and can see a past that was filled with fun, laughter and care......

We can finally look forward and be at peace.

The ride with Peggy has been good and I grieve that it is going to be over but as I look forward from my seat at the top of the Ferris wheel, I can also look back and.......

I can shout to the top of my lungs...

Wow, Peggy....

What a ride!!!

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

9 comments:

sanforized6 said...

Just great. I'm so glad you do this, it has to help, huh? rich

wendy4145 said...

What a ride!!!

I wish we could schedule our grief too.  i'd do it all on one day so that the rest of the week i could be free of it.

as you said, grief is a aprt of life.  it's not our favorite part of life.  but, somehow it has to be there.

I wish it didn't... but then again, if we lived in a place with no grief... we'd be in heaven with God.

=)
love,
Wendy

eternallife23 said...

I wish that we could schedule our grief. Continued prayers sent your way.

stormie4851 said...

AWESOME.......................STORMIE

yakima127 said...

Wonderful entry...JAE

devicke said...

I can sympathize with you.  To the one that found boredom in your comments, may he never know such grief.  My grandfather had alzheimers, and I remember the distance that takes the place of familiarity.  I lost my only son to a car wreck 7 years ago on Feb. 26.  He would have been 21 Jan. 31.  Just 17 days ago I watched my husband climb on a bus, that would begin his journey to the war on terrorism.  It will be at least a year before he returns home, if the Lord is willing.  I know grief, lonliness and boredom all to well.  I'm also disabled at an age when life should be in it's prime, so surgery is just around the corner.  If a person doesn't have time for boredom, they should count their many blessings.  I enjoyed your journal, for other than all I've written above, it sounded like I was reading my own.  I was an addict to gardening until pain took over my body and i just started using the digital camera and love it.  I have a grandson and another grand? on the way from my beautiful daughter.  I don't mean to take over your comment spot, gut I just feel a connection.  I too am from the south, Mississippi.  You can just refer to us as " GRITS",  Girls Raised In The South!  We're strong on the inside and soft on the outside.  Take Care.  P.S.  Loved your floser pics.  My passion too!  Dena

newportjazzlover said...

Mary Louise,
I am so touched by the things I have read in your journal...you are an exceptional sister...I know your sister may not recognize you now, but when she reaches the other side and has the ability to look back, her eyes will overflow with tears of love to see all that you did for her.  You are a wonderful human being!  How lucky your sister is to have you as a sister.  
Thank you for spending some time in my journal,
Holly

donrjs said...

Here is a though that I recently read "We are not human beings having a spritial experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience." Take care for you will see her again.

Don

tuggertoo2 said...

I couldn't agree more.  Timed grieving-it would be perfect-when your required  30 minute GT is complete, take those feelings, pack them neatly into a box, close the lid and place gently on the top shelf of the closet until your next scheduled grief time. The rest of your day could belong to something or someone else.  Unfortunately grief permeates our soul and won't leave.  This is the first time I've read your journal and even though it evokes extreme emotions, you have put into words what many of us have felt while going through the dying process with someone we love.