Peggy had a birthday yesterday.
I called her and when she said hello, I broke into the birthday song. About halfway through my Happy Birthday to You, her husband's voice came on the phone and he said that Peggy had laid the phone down.
He thinks that phone calls confuse her now. He also said that Peggy thinks that it is a recording or maybe, she is confused by the words. It is as if I am speaking a language that she cannot understand.
He called her back to the phone and when she said hello, I asked her if she would like for me to sing to her again. She said yes and I sang happy birthday to her. This time, when I finished the song she said, Thank you. But the thank you was with a cool tone.
She then laid the phone down and walked away before I could say anything else.
After I hung up the phone, I just sat there looking at the phone in my hand. My mind wandered back to last year and the birthday call to her.
Last year, she laughed and sang with me.
Yesterday, she couldn't even hold the phone.
Yesterday, I felt these things in her voice.......
Who are you?
Why are you singing?
What is a birthday?
I also felt from her voice....irritation that said,
Leave me alone.
What a difference a year makes with Alzheimer's disease.What a difference in the sister that I love and remember.
Our relationship is one sided now but I know that if Peggy could make it different...she would.
Alzheimer's is like a thief that comes in the night and steals all birthdays and remembrances of birthdays. It has torn her birthday memories into tiny pieces and thrown them to the wind.
I stand in my remembrances of Peggy's birthday's and look toward the sky just in time to see the tiny pieces of her birthdays, past and present floating, twisting and turning in the wind and finally disappearing.
I still see Peggy....
But she doesn't see me.
It is OK because.....
Peggy will always be locked inside of my heart and .......
I have Lost the key!
Happy Birthday, Peggy!
I Love You Today and always!