Thursday, February 10, 2005

A PUZZLE CALLED PEGGY

I hung up the phone after talking to Peggy today and realized that there is no way that I could ever quit calling her.

It is difficult to carry on a one way conversation but to hear her say OK or yeah is enough. At least, I can still hear her voice.

This is the week of hearts and my heart is full.

It is full of thankfulness that Peggy still has a voice. She may not be able to remember words, carry on a conversation or even remember who I am but her voice is still the same. That sameness is a comfort to me.

When my sisters, brother and I grew up and went our different ways, my Mother used to say that pieces of her heart was in five different places.

Now that I am grown, I understand what she meant by that statement.

A part of my heart will always be with Peggy and hearing her voice  will have to be enough.

There will come a day when I won't even have that small part of my sister. So, I will enjoy the time that we have left.

I know that there will be other days in the future when I will get down and want to give up but I won't because........Peggy still tries and so will I as long as she is alive.

Calling Peggy every day is like trying to put a puzzle together.

I separate the pieces and start the process of putting the puzzle together.

It can get frustrating trying to find the right puzzle piece to fit in the right place. But I can never give up on a puzzle that I have started.

I keep plodding along and slowly the picture comes together and I can see what I have been trying so hard to do.

Once I have finished a puzzle, I look at the finished work. I admire the picture and jumble the puzzle pieces. I put the puzzle away to put it together again at some time in the future.

Peggy is like a puzzle that Alzheimer's is slowly taking apart. She was a beautiful picture once and now, large parts of the puzzle that was Peggy have been taken away. Many pieces of her puzzle picture is missing now.

The puzzle that was Peggy can never be put together again. Alzheimer's disease has taken the pieces and thrown them away.

Every day, thisdisease takes one more piece of the life that was my sister and destroys it.

No one, not even those who love her so much can put her together again.

We can only watch as parts of her life and memory disappear from the puzzle table each and every day.

Alzheimer's disease is taking Peggy apart one piece at a time and will continue until the beautiful puzzle called Peggy is gone forever.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

4 comments:

wendy4145 said...

wow.  that was just so beautifully said about the puzzle and being thankful for Peggy's voice.

I can sense the comfort you feel in your sister's vocie.  


love,
Wendy

sanforized6 said...

Another beautiful "ode" to your sister. I hope they're "hooked up" to J'Land in Heaven, so when she gets there, she can catch up on all your tributes to her. rich

memkynme said...

Hi
I'm so glad it was just a passing thought about letting go I knew the love you have for Peggy you couldn't even if it meant not talking but hearing any responce is enough what ever we get ... But the way your Mother said 5 pieces of a pzzle was beauitful and your part of that woman as well as Peggy so hang in there ..
Life is a Rainbow of colors we just don't know what day and what color we will be on each given day .God Bless you and Peggy too !

wabrazenor said...

Iam really sorry that your sister is sick. I can't imagine how this must be for you family. May the universe take care of her.