This will be my last entry until next week. I am going on a trip and will write when I return.
THINKING IN PICTURES.
When I think of Peggy now, I do not see her the way that she looks now. I see Peggy the way that she was. She always had a huge smile, green eyes shining with compassion and a laugh that would fill up a room.
It is interesting how our minds work. When the word cat is spoken, we do not think of the letters...C A T...we see a picture of a cat in our mind.
Now, when I think of the word, Alzheimer's disease...I see Peggy in my mind and not the spelled word, Alzheimer's.
When I think of Peggy, a video of memories run through my thoughts like a movie.
I see her well and happy, laughing and excited about life. I don't see the person who has changed because Alzheimer's has taken over her body.
Our mind protects us from things that are too hurtful and fearful to see over and over again when we think. So, I go to the positive pictures that I have stored in my memory bank.
That is where I go when I remember all that we have shared.
One year we went shopping for Christmas. We came home, arms loaded with bags of gifts.
That was the year that we gave each other the same sister coffee cup. She would always ask me if I was drinking coffee from our cup if she called in the morning. It became a big joke between us because we chose the same cup out of all the cups in all of the stores we visited that day.
I still will not drink coffee out of any cup but that one every morning.
I always smile when I read the words printed on the cup before I take that first sip of coffee.
The words on the cup say....
My Sister...My Friend:
Life made you my sister but you're more than that.
You're my forever friend because of the beauty inside of you.
No one will ever understand me and stand by me quite the way that you do.
How much more I appreciate you now than when we were kids!
I am trying to live the words on the cup that she chose for me that Christmas.
When the coffee is half way down in my cup...I think...Is my cup half empty or half full this morning?
I am trying to understand her and stand by her while she continues to disappear from my life.
I will always cherish my coffee cup and I think of Peggy every morning when I drink my coffee.
I just wish that she remembered all the jokes and fun we had that Christmas over those silly, wonderful coffee cups.
I Love You Today, Peggy!