Thursday, November 4, 2004

Sitting on the Dung Pile

Today...There are no words to express how I am feeling about losing Peggy. The words are inside of me but cannot find their way to the page.

This entry was written eariler this year and is worthy of a repeat because it describes my mood today.

Watching Peggy disappear from Alzheimer's disease is like sitting in the middle of a huge dung pile. 

The stench is over powering and the dung clings to my body.

 I know that I should get up and wash the dung off but when I try to stand up...the dung pulls me down again like quicksand.

So, on a day like today...I Just Sit in It!

I sit in it because Peggy has forgotten me!  And because....

I Can't Remember..... to Forget!

I miss you, Peggy.... More than you can remember!

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

5 comments:

madmanadhd said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Peggy. Such a frightening, frustrating place to be... caught between memory and forgetting. I get reprimanded at times for "spacing things out" and missing important dates, etc. Yet I can snap back to remembering, pull my facilities together and review my life as it trails behind me and also anticipate the future. Now you are the memory for both you and Peggy. Such a painful experience. Hold tight to the memories you cherish for both of you. This journal is a wonderful way to express those memories and feelings. Blessings and strength to you.

Thank you for visiting my journal, come again.

http://journals.aol.com/madmanadhd/ConfessionsofaMadmanInsightsinto

barbpinion said...

I think of you and Peggy every single day. Keeping you in prayers too. *Barb*

robinngabster said...

Hang in there girl....if I were there I would help ya up and find a big pooper scooper. You are in my thoughts.

stormie4851 said...

I FOUND YOUR JOURNAL FROM A COMMENT YOU MADE ON ANOTHER ONE, MY HEART BROKE AS SOON AS I SAW WHAT YOUR JOURNAL IS ABOUT.  I HAVE THREE SISTERS AND I COULD NOT IMAGINE GOING THROUGH WHAT YOU ARE NOW GOING THROUGH, MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU................STORMIE

lindainspokane said...

hang in there...i know its hard to see your sister leave u a bit by bit, every day..i cant even imagine the pain of it...i do know the feeling of not knowing how to express your feelings...they sometimes just get all jumbled up inside of us...just relax and take a couple of days off and then maybe the words will flow again...u always are so eloquent with how u describe your sister, family and your self...i love coming to read your journal...i hope u have a nice evening...and i am thinking of u mary louise...

linda
http://journals.aol.com/lindainspokane/LifewithLinny  

ps--thanks for the nice comments in my journal :-)