Saturday, November 27, 2004

THANKSGIVING SILENCE

Thanksgiving is a time for family.

Peggy and I shared many memories of Thanksgivings when we were growing up. She has forgotten about those special times but I have not.

 We still called each other on Thanksgiving day even after we married and moved far away from one another. The call always ended with laughter over some little something.

This Thanksgiving, I called Peggy and I was thankful that I can still hear her voice. There was no laughter when our call ended.....

 There was only Thanksgiving silence.

Peggy's memories and voice have been silenced by Alzheimer's disease and she can no longer put her emotions into words.

She can no longer put a voice to her memories or to her feelings.

I guess it could have been a sad thing for me but I was not sad when I hung up the phone.

I was just thankful that she is still on the other end of the phone line.

I was just thankful that I can still hear her voice.

I am thankful this year for the Thanksgiving silence of Peggy because she is still with us in body if not in mind.

I am thankful for the sister she was to me while I continue to watch her disappear from my life.

My heart is full of the many joyful Thanksgivings day's that we shared as sisters. My heart is happy when I think of all the Thanksgiving phone calls and all the chatter and laughter we shared during those calls.

 Peggy could not articulate her feelings this Thanksgiving but her silence was comforting and that silence spoke volumes to me.

 She was still on the other end of my phone line and I am thankful for that and for her silence..

Sometimes, words are not necessary.

Sometimes, I just need to know that my voice is being heard even though she cannot speak to me. 

Peggy may not have remembered who I was when I called her but somewhere in her soul, she remembers my voice and she remembers the laughter that we shared.

Sometimes, it feels O K to sit in the silence of Peggy and feel the comfort of home in her quietness.

Happy Thanksgiving, Peggy.

You were still with us this Thanksgiving and for that, I am thankful.

 Peggy, thank you for the gift of your Thanksgiving Silence during our call.

I know that next year...I may not be this lucky.

Next Thanksgiving, I may not be able to call Peggy.

Next Thanksgiving, I may not be able to listen with my heart to her Thanksgiving Silence.

So this Thanksgiving call was truly special because.....

I was privileged to hear the gift of Peggy's Thanksgiving Silence one more time.

I Love You, Today, Peggy!

Happy Thanksgiving 2004.

Mary Louise

8 comments:

sarajanesmiles said...

(((((hugs))))) to you my dear, and to Peggy.  
Sara   x

magogos said...

I send you a {{{{hug}}}}, too and am glad you still have Peggy's silence in your life. Margo

stormie4851 said...

AS ALWAYS, YOU MOVE ME TO TEARS...........STORMIE

thebaabee said...

Happy Thanksgiving Mary Louise.  Your journal always brings me back to reality.  I am as usual floored reading it. Thank you for sharing.... Love always LuAnne

yogiyoyoyoyou said...

I am in tears.  God Bless you and your sister.

Best wishes~
Laura Sue
http://journals.aol.com/yogiyoyoyoyou/Alzhiemersanuglyuglycreature/

ooos0fluffy said...

you made me cry. thank you xxx

mcric5 said...

Mary louise, My Mom just turned 90 yrs. old. I too have so many memories. She can't talk to me now. I look in her eyes and wonder if she has even the smallest memory.  Your story has touched more than anything in a long time. I too have bloked the tears for a lot of reasons. I am afraid if I start, I will never stop.

  Thank you so much for your story. I think it helps that people can relate.

 God Bless you, dear.
                                 Mcric5@aol.com

wendy4145 said...

i love the velvetine rabbit too!  It was my moms favorite and she bought it for me when i was about Daniel's age, 9.
sometimes little sister's can teach their big sisters a thing or two... Peggy is still teaching you.
=)  I suppose she always will.
love,
Wendy