Peggy was distant when I talked with her today. I did ask the sitter if she thought that Peggy had missed my calls. She said that she honestly didn't know.
There was a flatness to Peggy's voice today. I don't think that she had any idea who I was.
Sometimes, it feels like I am trying to catch the wind when I talk with her.
I felt like a sail boat on the ocean this morning. Just sitting with all my sails ready to glide across the water. Only,there was no wind to propel the boat forward. I had on my sailing clothes of patience, hope and faith. I had the Captain's hat on my head as a shield from the harsh sun of Alzheimer's Disease. My Sail boat was ready and I sat in the middle of this ocean with storm clouds gathering on the horizon. I waited and hoped for a gust or a gentle breeze from Peggy's voice to get this journey through another day. I waited for the moment of recognition that would fill my sails and give me the courage to continue.
Today was not the day of breezes for my sails. Today, there was an erie stillness in the air. I realized that I cannot wait for Peggy to move my sailboat through the water. She has forgotten how to sail.
I will have a adjust my own sails and find the wind that I need to navigate my boat through these restless waters.
I Love You Today, Peggy!