Friday, November 11, 2005


I called Peggy today but she wasn't able to talk.

That seems so strange to me. How does a person lose the ability to communicate? Her mind seems to have been swept clean of all thoughts and memories.

Trying to get her to say anything is like walking up to a beautiful house in the dark and knocking on the front door.

All the lights are on but there are thick shades over the windows. I can see light shining through the edge of the window shades and I can hear sounds from the inside of the house. That tells me that someone is home.

I walk to the front door and ring the door bell and knock as hard as I can but no one comes to open the door.

I stand on the outside of the house and ring the doorbell over and over but no one hears me and no one can let me come inside.

 I know that Peggy is still inside of her body somewhere but she has lost the ability to walk to the front door of her mind and open it.

Peggy is like that beautiful house standing in the dark.

Her lights are on but dimming, the shades to her mind are darker and thicker. 

Peggy will never be able to open the door of her mind and let me come inside to visit...ever again.

She will remain a beautiful house with no keys to the doors. 

No keys to open her mind.

No keys to open her spirit.

No keys to open her heart.

Alzheimer's disease has taken the keys of Peggy's life and thrown them away.

The house where Peggy lives is locked. It will remain locked until she leaves this earth and.....

 Meets God.

I think that God will smile and hang Peggy's life key's on the door of her mind that day                    


She Will Remember her life and she will remember that I am her sister and that I love her.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise



wendy4145 said...


with grief their is also rejoicing.

becaues with death, there is also living.


gailmb said...

This is a beautiful journal entry!! I know some of your sorrow. My baby sister has MS and watching her struggles rips away bits of my heart.
I know some of you sorrow, but not all of it. Thank you for sharing.

pgknight412 said...

I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your journal.  I lost my one and only sister nearly 4 yrs ago and now I am losing my Momma to Alzheimer's...she is in the last days, Hospice has begun to help us.  Losing my sister was the most horrible thing I have ever lived thru, now losing Momma to Alzheimer's is horrible as well.  I just wanted to thank you for sharing with others.  God bless.