We accumulate grief over a lifetime. When something life altering happens, all of the other grief that we have experienced in our life time, line up like dominos set to fall...one after the other.
I wish that we had a wall of cubby holes in our minds to store the grief after it has happened.
We would experience the grief and place it in the cubby hole in our mind, never to experience it again.
If we could do that, the past grief would not color the grief of the present.
I could experience my grief, one at a time, check it off and store it in cubby holes marked for the grief...
DOG DIED...5 years old
GRANDFATHER DIED...7 years old
FIRST LOVE...broke up, 17 years old
MOTHER DIED....34 years old
And so it would go on through our lives, experiencing and putting grief away in a special cubby hole.
I do not mean to say that we would not remember our grief and the pain that accompanied it. But we would not relive it over and over again and mix it with the grief of the present.
I could experience the pain and grief of today and one day, put it away in the cubby hole marked..
WATCHING MY SISTER...DISAPPEAR
Ralph Waldo Emerson said;
Finish every day and be done with it....Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair.
It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays.
I Love You Today, Peggy!