One of the major things that I have missed as I have watched Peggy disappear is our sharing.
Growing up, we shared clothes, shoes and advice and truth.
Who else would you share clothes and shoes with than someone you trust. Someone, who was herself but was also a part of you.
Who else would you trust to tell you the truth if it was not your sister?
I would get dressed for a date when we were at home and ask Peggy what she thought of my outfit. Sometimes, she would scrunch her face and tilt her head and say...uhhhh, M.L, I think a white blouse would look better than the one you have on and change your shoes.
I always took her advice because I knew that she was honest with me and told me the truth.... in a kind way.
Who else would be as honest about hair, makeup, clothes, and men than your sister?
Trust between Peggy and me came early. We were honest with one another on many levels.
I miss that. I miss our sharing and I miss her honesty but
our sharing is one part of our sisterhood that I miss the most.
I get angry that she is not here any longer. Very, very angry but...
Who do I get angry with?
You can never miss someone who was not there for you.
Peggy was there for me and now she is not.
I was there for Peggy and now she doesn't even remember my name or that we were sisters.
Life has played a cruel trick on us and now I must go on without her in my life.
I can do this because she taught me to be honest with myself.
I am honest with my feeling this afternoon and I can say with honesty...
I'm angry with her for going away and leaving me to find my own honesty in life. She is no longer there for me to lean on with my troubles or my fears.
Her simple act of going away has left me...
To find my own honesty and strength in life...
All by myself.
I Love You Today, Peggy!