Wednesday, January 19, 2005

THE SONG IN PEGGY'S HEART

Peggy has a beautiful singing voice.

When we were growing up, we would sing together while clearing the table and washing the dishes in the evening.

Those are happy memories of growing up at 1805 St. Charles Court.

This morning, I asked Peggy if she still liked to sing?

She said, yes.

I asked her if she would sing a song for me and she hesitated. I told her that I would sing with her and she said OK.

What do you want to sing, Peggy?

Silence filled my ears.

Do you have a song in your heart to sing to me today?

Yes.

Please, sing it for me.

OK.

There was a long silence and I kept still. I wanted to jump in and help her but I just listened with my heart and prayed that she would think of a song on her own.

All of a sudden, she burst into song.

The song in her heart this morning was Amazing Grace.

She sang it beautifully and as I listened to her sing those powerful words, tears ran down my face.

" Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I'm found. Was blind but now, I see. Twas grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fear relieved. How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed".

Once, she knew all the verses and all the words.

This morning, she was forgetting the words to the song of her heart as she sang. I could feel her struggle to remember words and would start the song over and over again.

I sang it with her when the words wouldn't come and we finished the first and second verse together.

I asked her if she would like to sing the last verse together and she said no.

I asked her why and the response was...

I don't know any more words.

Would you like for me to sing the words of the last verse to you  Peggy?

Yes.

And so, I sang the last verse of Amazing grace to her this morning. Tears choked my throat as I sang these words to my sister.

"When we've been there ten thousand years...Bright shining as the sun. We've no less day's to sing God's praise than when we first begun".

I couldn't say a word when I finished the verse and then I heard Peggy say.

Thank you.

It was not a thank you to a sister but a thank you to a stranger.

A thank you to a stranger who sang the song of her heart this morning.

Peggy still amazes me with the grace that she possesses as she continues to disappear from Alzheimer's disease.

I pray for half of that grace as I continue...... 

To watch her disappear.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

11 comments:

isoldhimonebay said...

VERY touching entry.  You have such a special bond with your sister and I'm so glad to hear that there are people in this world like you.  You're so patient with her and you treat her like she needs to be treated.  

Your entries in this journal fill my heart with warmth.  The love that you have for your sister is amazing.  God Bless you and Peggy too!!

Luv~Heather

wendy4145 said...

ouch.....=_ _ (

But that was beautiful.  she sang to you, and she rememberd some words, and she thanked you for singing to her.  That Is Beautiful.
Love,
Wendy

helloimkara said...

Oh Boy this made me cry!  WHat a beautful song. I wish I could have heard you both sing!

Kara :)

mosie1944 said...

Oh my, this reminds me of a time when my mom had her leg amputated and was under the influence of drugs... she made no sense talking, but could sing all the old hymns just fine.  Of course she didn't remember any of it later.  I must find that story and post it in my journal!

sanforized6 said...

Guys don't cry, my butt. I'm quite choked up as I write this. How beautiful, how painfully sad. I live in a retirement community, work at the little 9 hole golf course, and in my 10 years at the course, I've seen several "beautiful" people, like your sister, fade away. Eventually, they all go to "assisted" places, but watching the "onset" is , well, you know more than I, how it goes. I'm a first timer, to this journal, I'll be back. rich

brandilynneliz said...

I have never been more touched then in the moments of reading this. I am about to start at the begining of your journal and work my way through. I doubt there is anything I could possibly say that would mean anything unless I know everything I can.

Brandi

dklars said...

Pass the puffs!  Beautiful entry.  I'll visit here often.
~~Kath~~
http://journals.aol.com/dklars/SecretGarden

sighlemaccaba said...

Today I visited my beloved and only living aunt who is disappearing before my eyes.  My heart goes out to you.
Sheila

deabvt said...

So hard for both of you.
http://journals.aol.com/deabvt/DeablerVT/
V

dababysback said...

your journal made me cry... Its so beautiful.

http://journals.aol.com/dababysback/ReadAllaboutit/

shannon

sunnyside46 said...

and you have such grace...thank you for touching my heart.
Marti
http://journals.aol.com/sunnyside46/MidlifeMusings