Monday, January 17, 2005


I talked with Peggy this morning and her voice was flat and cold.

I could not connect with her on any level. She is getting worse every day and there is no way to reach her.

I was reading in the paper this morning about the avalanche in Utah and thought that my call to her was a lot like an avalanche.

Her mind has been covered in a great slide of freezing cold snow and she has no way of digging herself out.

Doctors, medications and care have not helped to locate the Peggy that is buried under the mountain of snow inside of her mind.

Her mind is stilled by the weight of Alzheimer's snow. Alzheimer's disease slid into her mind and crushed all of her thoughts and her memories.

The weight and freezing temperature of the snow has frozen Peggy in time and she will stay frozen until she is rescued and thawed out in death.

On this very cold day in Ohio, I made the call to my sister and thought of the warm, happy Peggy that I knew and remembered.

After my call to her, I was faced with the frozen person that she has become because of Alzheimer's disease.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise


kmax0819 said...

Mary Louise,

I've been reading your journals for awhile now...actually since we returned from our Disney trip together.  I find such comfort reading the picture you paint for all of us about Peggy and about Alzheimer's.  I feel blessed that you have shared this journal with me and hate that you are having to go through this with your sister.  I have two older sisters but despite our age difference we are all very close.  It's hard to imagine losing one of them in this way.  I've only dealt with it through my grandma and only for a short time.  Please keep writing and sharing your feelings on the journal, they mean so much to me and to others.

Your friend,

wendy4145 said...

May God be with you and peggy.

marymnbob said...

It means so much to know that someone understands what you are going through, even though you are so sorry to know that there is even yet another prisoner to this thief of life. Keep writing ,please. It is amazing how something so beautiful can be written about something so horrible.
     I love you, mary Louise.  Marymnbob,used to be Mcric5

lacaza3 said...

Just wondering..I read you journal often...My grandfather also had this disease for many years....
You mention medications and that they are not working...Have they ruled out other clogging of the cartiod arteries and other things that can cause memory loss....
I'm sure they have but thought I would ask...
My grandmother took care of my grandfather up untill the day he day in nov 1995....She is a saint in my book...she had no help at all...because she lived 6 hours away from us
Donna In TEXAS

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