Saturday, January 15, 2005

Peggy sat down at her desk and was writing in the journal of her life when she was in her late 40's. As she wrote, Alzheimer's disease crept up behind her and looked over her shoulder to see what she was writing.

Peggy continued to write and live her life. Little did she know that Alzheimer's was monitoring every word that she put down in her journal.

One day, when she was 50 years old, Peggy put her pen down to think about what she wanted to write next. That is when Alzheimer's disease picked up her pen and began to write it's own words in her life journal.

At first, her words were clear but there were times in the writing of her life journal that she forgot to write about certain things.       Then, there were the times that she couldn't find her journal to write. At last, there were the day's when she couldn't remember where she had put her pen or her journal.

Those were the days when she made no entries in her life journal.

Slowly, Alzheimer's disease clutched the pen and started writing it's own words instead of Peggy's words on the pages of her life journal. The words on the pages of her journal became scribbled lines that no one could read, not even Peggy.

Alzheimer's disease became the author of Peggy's life journal.

It took away her ability to write the lines of her past, present and future in the journal of her life.

Today, Alzheimer's disease writes the lines that are her days.         No one can read the scribbled lines of her life now, not even those who love her so much.

The only way to read the words that Alzheimer's writes for her today is to read between the lines.

I can still read the words of her heart because I knew her long before Alzheimer's became the author of her life and took the pen from her hand.

I knew her before Alzheimer's began to scribble the words of her days.

I knew who she was and so I know who she is today.

Alzheimer's disease is winning the writing contest with Peggy but I know the greatest author and I know what Peggy would be writing in her journal if she could.                                                          She would be writing the love in her heart. She would be writing laughter and fun. She would be writing encouragement and prayers.She would be writing funny stories and jokes. If it Alzheimer's had not entered her life...She would be writing  heart words in her daily journal.

Her pen has been taken away and Alzheimer's has control over what is written in the journal of her life but.....

I remember Peggy before Alzheimer's took her pen away and so...

I will write some of her words for her. 

I can do that because I remember Peggy before Alzheimer's took the pen and began to write in her journal.   

I remember Peggy and I remember her life and her passion for living.

My mission, is to write her life and let people know what a special person my sister was and what a committed life she lived.

Alzheimer's has won the writing contest in Peggy's life today but...

As long as I hold my pen and can write in my journal of life...

I will continue to write about Peggy in this journal and what this vicious disease has done her. I will write funny things about her and I will also write the pain of...

Watching My Sister....Disappear.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise


mosie1944 said...

This journal is a blessing in so many ways.  For one thing, I appreciate my sister more because of it, and thank God she is sound of mind, although she's pushing 80.  

Just yesterday I was wondering how old Peggy was when you realized Alzheimer's had reared its ugly head.  Today's entry answers my question.

God bless you.  

caragricke said... you know I haven't read the journal lately because I thought I couldn't deal with it during the holidays and Beth's illness since before Christmas but I just wanted to say...BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN...I continue to be amazed about how you describe this disease....Love..your sister Barbara