Wednesday, March 23, 2005

SLEEP

Peggy's voice sounded very small this morning and she was whispering her responses to me. 

 I felt helpless and tried to get her to tell me what was wrong but she couldn't. I asked her if she wanted to tell me something and she said, yes. I asked her what she wanted to tell me and she said, I don't know.

I told her that I wanted to help her and she said, I know.

Can I do anything to help you and her reply was... No.

I told her that I would do anything to help her and she said, I know.

I asked her if she was alright and she said, No.

It is as if her mind is going to sleep but she is trying hard to stay awake.

Alzheimer's is putting her brain to sleep and there is nothing that I can do or say that will help her stay awake.

The call was frustrating and I could hear in her soft whisper that she wanted me to do something to help her.

All I could do this morning was tell her that I loved her today and that I would call her tomorrow. She said.....good.

Peggy's mind is being put to sleep. Her eyes are open but her brain is becoming dormant.

I wonder what a day and night would be like with Alzheimer's disease? I wonder if Peggy has dreams at night or is the night as dark and quiet as the day?

Either way....Peggy's brain is going to sleep and there is nothing that I can do to help her stay awake but call her and wisper that I love her as she slips further into sleep.

SLEEP........by Eric Whitacre ( liberties taken)

The evening hangs beneath the moon. A silver thread on darkened dune.

With closing eyes and resting head... Peggy knows that sleep is coming soon.

Upon her pillow, safe in bed a thousand pictures fill her head.

She cannot sleep, her mind's a-flight and yet her limbs seem made of lead.

If there are noises in the night, A frightening shadow, flickering light.....

Then, She surrenders onto sleep. Where clouds of dreams give second sight.

What dreams may come both dark and deep of flying wings and soaring leap.

As she surrender onto sleep....

As she surrender onto sleep....

As she surrender onto sleep...

SLEEP...

            SLEEP...

                           SLEE....

                                          SLE.....

                                                       SL...........

                                                                        S...............

I Love You Today, Peggy and I will stay close as you continue to fall asleep.....

Mary Louise

 

6 comments:

barbpinion said...

Mary, you are such a precious sister. I'm so sorry you're losing Peggy in such a horrible way. Keeping all of you in prayer. Much love. *Barb*

trishaham said...

Mary, I don't know what to say, except you are in my prayers.

God Bless.
TiasNme2

wendy4145 said...

that's a beautiful poem.

love,
Wendy

sanforized6 said...

Beautiful, as always. Heart wrenching, but beautiful. rich

rainy35 said...

Mary, Thanx for stopping by and commenting in my journal 3 wks. ago  This is the 1st opportunity I've had  to stop by yours because my younger brother passed away at 39.  I was born in Alexander City, moved up to Michigan for most of my childhood and moved back here in 9/2003 with my mama and daddy to get them away from the harsh winters as my mama suffered with RA.  I'm so sorry about your sister.  With my mama, I felt helpless as she was losing her battle with life In 1/2004.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
http://journals.col.com/rainy35/BamaSweetiePiesWeightLossJournal

sscheergirl77 said...

Hi-
your j really is touching- my sister is truly one of my best friends, and I can't imagine losing her. Thank you for reminding me of the fragility of life.
Stephanie
http://journals.aol.com/sscheergirl77/MOXIE