Tuesday, March 29, 2005

BAGGAGE

I asked Peggy this morning if there was anything that she wanted to talk about. She said, yes but couldn't think of anything to say.

The memories of her mind are gone and that is what we draw on to communicate with one another.

A person cannot talk about something that they can't remember.

I wonder if Peggy is lonely because she was such a "people person".

My heart tells me that she has to be lonely because I miss her so much but my mind tells me that she is alone.... but not lonely.

One cannot be lonely for people, places and things that are not remembered.

Peggy lives in a world called "the Alzheimer's moment". She seems to be aware of what happens in that moment and then it is gone forever.

It might be wonderful to live in the moment. If we did, we would forget the hurts of a year, day, hour or the minute before that moment. But...we would also forget the joys of the same time frame.

We move forward through time taking all of the baggage from our memories. The baggage that we drag as we travel, dictates how we react to situations.

If we traveled through life with no memories of the past, no fear of the future and only lived in a moment of time....... 

It might mean that we were living with a disease that cripples the mind. A disease that takes away our past, limits our present and destroys the hope of a future.

It might mean that we were living with...

Alzheimer's Disease.

Alzheimer's disease takes away the past, eliminates the future and places a person in the moment. Once a person is living in that Alzheimer's moment there is never a need to check baggage or to remember baggage.

Once a person lives in the Alzheimer's moment there is never a need to think, plan and or to get excited about the trip through life.

Peggy lives from moment to moment, experience to experience and then it is forgotten.

The baggage that she carried through her life experiences have been lost and will never to be returned to her.

Peggy does not need the suitcase of her memories because she lives in the Alzheimer's moment where travel is limited.

Alzheimer's has locked all of Peggy's memory baggage in a place where the key is missing and the sign on the door reads....

WARNING!!!!!!

This room contains the suitcases that hold all of Peggy's memories. It is under lock and key and can never be claimed.

Signed......

Alzheimer's Disease.

I Love You today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

2 comments:

wendy4145 said...

you know, that does sound like a peaceful place to be ML.

Love,
Wendy

mkolasa101 said...

Which is worst...I live with a sister who won't forget the past, every awful thing that she claims she has experienced...who tries to force me to remember it the way she does....how terrible my father was to us....to our mom....and on and on.  How sick she is and getting sicker and sicker.  I know she has a heart and she claims she loves me and would never do anything to hurt me, however she has lived in a manic depressive state for as long as I can remember and lots of times I forget because I want so much for us to have some kind of real relationship. I'm never real anxious to call her because she always goes back down nightmare lane and wants to drag me with her.  Which is worst.  I would love for her to stay in this moment now, maybe even take that old baggage and just set fire to it and let it all go.  It would make her life a heck of a lot brighter and mine too and perhaps it would heal her ailing body.  Sorry this is so long.

Marlene-PurelyPoetry