Thursday, September 14, 2006


Peggy has entered a new phase of Alzheimer's disease.

She has forgotten how to feed herself and must be fed.

This disease is interesting in the way it takes a person back through time.

When she was a baby, she had to be fed, clothed and taken care of as any baby would be.

Peggy has entered the baby phase.

She has traveled from a mature woman, back through Alzheimer's time.

I have often wondered what it would be like to travel back through time to another era in history. To see the history that I have lived unfold before my eyes.

If I were able to do that, I would have a difficult time not saying...Don't fight that war, don't launch that shuttle, don't go to work or visit the Twin Towers on September 11th 2001.

I could change history by giving those warnings. But...would anyone listen?

If I could go back to the first time that I noticed a difference in Peggy, could I have given her a warning for her to get help sooner.

Could I have changed her diagnosis by my early warning?

One day in the future, people will feel sorry for our generation. They will shake their heads and wonder why we didn't know the answer to Alzheimer's and Pick's disease sooner. Just as we look back at the millions of children who died from Measles, polio and other childhood diseases.

My Grandfather died from Gallbladder surgery in the 50's. Now, it is a routine surgery with tiny surgical wounds.

One day in the future, Alzheimer's disease will be a fixable disease.

But for now, in our time...we are losing intelligent, wonderful people who continue to travel back through the time of Alzheimer's disease.

They travel from an adult with hope and promise for a bright future to a small infant who must be taken care of day and night.

As Peggy travels back through the time Alzheimer's has given to her, she will not only forget how to feed herself....

She will forget how to breathe.

One day in the future, there will be no Alzheimer's and Pick's disease...One day....

But for now, until that day comes....

Breathe, Peggy, Breathe.

Each breath that I take is a prayer for you. A prayer that you will not forget how to breathe today, tomorrow or this year.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Just Breathe.

Mary Louise



pharmolo said...

Mary Louise,
It is just as well that time is a one-way street. I inadvertently touched on the subject a day or so ago - what would have happened if someone had been able to go back to the 19th century and strangled the infant Adolf Hitler?
Alzheimers is like hitting an invisible mirror. You bounce off it - and go back the way you came. Peggy won't be aware. You are all the more.

I wish you strength.

bpcorn48 said...

I don't put comments on very often, but your entry hit home. I'm so sorry that time is standing still for you but flying for PEGGY, I'm so sorry.........DIANE

frankandmary said...

My dad is still eating on his own, but at times I must encourage him. I love doing this really.  My loves have changed, as have yours, I am sure. Peace.

wendy4145 said...

there will be other diseases in the future if they find a cure for the diseases of today....  
yes though... Keep Breathing..  long deap cleansing breaths..... for Peggy, for you and for all who are going through the terrible diseases that our time offers us.
My prayer is that God grand comfort and peace and his presence with all who suffer from disease.


ajquinn354 said...

Mary Louise, you joournal site today says it all about past cures, present cures yet to be solved and the emotional pain of those who love the ones going through these terrible illnesses. Alzheimer is such a terrible illness for  those who have to deal with seeing their love one going through this. You're one special lady.  Bless you and Peggy and all the family....Arlene

psychfun said...

My prayers are with you & her! Lets just hope "one day" is TOMORROW!

magogos said...

I will add Peggy, you and the whole family to my breathing meditations. Margo

livsmom6 said...


daddyleer said...

Eating, breathing … so easily taken for granted. Thank you for the dimension and insight, I’m sure it’s not easily written.  

stupidsheetguy said...

This is absolutely heartbreaking to read tonight. I do believe that there will be a day where Alzheimer's will be an easily curable disease. I'd love to think that it would come in Peggy's lifetime, and that will be my prayer for you tonight as I go to sleep.


my78novata said...

I remember when my grandmother gott o that stage. you know peggy may have been like my mom and Ihave warned her for three years now my aunt who first took care of my grandmother agreed mom has the symptoms  back then too but she is in big time denial.!!!!!!!!!! I think Im going to make a journal of some of the major things she does. !!!!!!