Monday, May 29, 2006


This is Memorial Day.

A day to remember all those who are lost to us.

I am remembering Peggy.

I am remembering when this journey with her began years ago.

It began with frantic calls to say she had passed out, fell and hit her head.

It began with forgetting how to count money and calling to tell me how embarrassed she was.

It began with getting lost while driving her car and calling so that I could give her directions.

It began with losing jewelry and other treasured items and calling to ask about places to look for them.

It continued with calls to ask where the milk was kept when she was ready to eat cereal in the morning.

There are so many calls from her that I recall as she was sliding deeper into Alzheimer's disease.

Now, there are no calls from Peggy.

Now, she does not have the ability to ask questions.

Those calls were disturbing to me back then but.......

I remember and wish that my phone would ring today and Peggy would have a question for me.

A question that I could answer on this day of remembering.

But there are no calls from Peggy today or ever again and so....

I think of her and remember.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise


wendy4145 said...

Mary Louise,
  Peggy may not ever call you again by phone.  But she will call you one day t o let you know she is ok.
I didn't realize that you knew so early on about her forgetting things.  That must have been so painful.  I know that right now is painful too.
  You will probably be the first person she lets know that she has her memory back, when she is with God.  What you wrote today was very beautiful.  Peggy is still bringing beautiy to the earth, through you.


rha4497496 said...

ML, Today's post is a wonderful memorial to your sweet sister.  I am so sorry for your pain, but I feel blessed that you share your journey with me and others.  It is humbling to read your heartfelt thoughts and feelings.  You are a wonderful sister, ML!  God bless you and Peggy.



inafrnz247 said...

Remembering your loving sister, who cannot remember you.... how painful it must be for you, and yet I love the last commentor who wrote that someday, when Peggy is home with the Lord, that she will be waiting to meet you again and share together something else very, very special.  So much more than this life here.  I believe this, and have faith... can one afford not to?  Hugs upon hugs to you...

mgmturner said...

Mary Louise,

You are building a memorial for Peggy one journal entry at a time.  People who would never have known her have been blessed with a glimpse into who she was before the big "A" began to steal her from all of you.  I send you big (((hugs))) today.


taranrich98 said...

Mary Louise,
   How old is Peggy? She is so young and's so horrible what you are all going through....I am "watching my father disappear" as by day..I know how you are feeling...helpless...

luddie343 said...

Mary Louise, I'm Cathy, and I know people with good intentions will no doubt express the horror and pain of losing a sibling to a disease that takes everything about that person from us, their unique personality.  Although the brain is the maker of the person's smile, tears, laugh, it's the SOUL that lives on and can never be lost or changed.  I've a sister who has disappeared, too, although she still lives in a body that will, like mine, stop functioning one day. I know our souls go on and we'll meet again, in some other way, some other place.  For now, I can't address her, but I see her and miss her to the extent of physical pain.  It's not a horror nor a shame, it's not a loss really, it's just the way the human mind functions and then fails us.  Peggy's mind betrayed her, but look what she's brought to you in your ability to express that loss so deeply, lovingly.  It was enough to influence me to come to your journal, just the name alone, surely this must means something.  Much love, Cathy

theshootist1 said...

Mary Louise:

Hi, I just wanted to come in here and say thank you to you, for the congratulations & well wishes, I really appreciate that alot. I'm glad you enjoyed my journals and got a little laugh from them lol.
I must say WOW! What a powerful and touching journal you have going here, I am very sorry to learn about your sister, I have a friend that lives about a mile and a half away from me that is suffering from that same disease, his condition is now progressed into the latter stages. It so hard to watch someone so close to us fade slowly away like that.
I have you and yours in my prayers and best wishes.
God Bless You!