Tuesday, May 2, 2006

NO APOLOGIES...NO REGRET

Have you ever forgotten a special event, a persons birthday or an anniversary of someone close to you?

The event or special day passes and it never registers until days or weeks later.

All at once, you realize that you have forgotten to recognize someone close to you.

Do you remember what that felt like when you remembered?

Feelings of regret, shame and the apologies that always follow the forgotten date.

Then, dealing with ones own self abuse over the forgotten date.

How could I have forgotten such a special date? What is wrong with me? How can I make it up to the person who was hurt but my forgetting?

When a person has Alzheimer's disease...There is no regret, no shame, no apologies for forgotten important dates to family and friends.

There is only an erased mind who feels the moment.

One cannot feel regret about special days when they have vanished. When they no longer live in the memories that are stored in the brain.

I was the one who felt sad when Peggy forgot my birthday, not Peggy.

There is something good about an erased memory....

There are no regrets in forgetting.

Silences are real conversations between sisters.

Not needing to talk but already knowing what the heart of the other wishes it could say. 

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

 

3 comments:

wendy4145 said...


i hear you....

love, wendy

lowis6535 said...

   I am so glad that you are finding some sort of solace in realizing that Peggy is not the one that is suffering.
   Being able to see Peggy & touch her ... I'm sure you would chose that over not being able to.
   How wonderful that you are still faithful to honoring & respecting her, even as she is now.  Your photos: how wonderful that you have those!

LOIS

jennerizer said...

You are an amazing writer...so detailed & so heartfelt.  

Jen