Monday, January 16, 2006

CHOICES

Today, Peggy's voice had the quality of a 5 year old. It was soft and sweet.

Tomorrow, her voice may sound strong with an angry edge.

One thing that I have learned as I watch Peggy disappear is that with Alzheimer's disease, you never know who will be on the other end of the phone line. Peggy may have the voice of a 5 year old or 45 year old in a matter of minutes.

She can have the strength of a 50 year old when she speaks or the shyness of a 3 year old.

She can sound helpless or belligerent, weak or strong from moment to moment.

Alzheimer's disease decides who she is and what age she will be from moment to moment, day to day.

We decide who we are, what age we are and how we will react to any situation if our brains are free from disease.

When a pearson has Alzheimer's disease, the disease decides who you will be and how you will react at any given time.

Alzheimer's disease takes away choices.

This disease makes all of Peggy's choices for her.

I never know who will be on the other end of the phone line when I talk to her and that's OK.

I still know that Peggy is in there somewhere listening to my words.

I really doesn't matter who she is or how old she is when she answers my call. All that matters is that...

She can still come to the phone.

She may not talk.

She may hang up on me.

She may lay the phone down and walk away.

But she always says....Hello.

Hello is a nice word even if its the only word I hear her say.

A simple hello from Peggy carries all the memories of a lifetime.....

As sisters.

Hello, Peggy!

I Love You Today!

Mary Louise

 

4 comments:

wendy4145 said...

I am glad you enjoyed another HELLO from Peggy today!

Hello from a familiar voice of someone you miss is a very special thing indeed!
Love,
Wendy

aljes12 said...

Thank you Mary for stopping in my journal and commenting. I felt I should return the gesture. I am very sorry about what your sister is going through and what your going through watching her. Alzheimer's is a difficult disease to deal with. It runs in the family on my husbands side and I have also had family who have had it. As a child being around those people who had it was difficult for me because I got scared sometimes at their behavior because they didn't remember me and when they got to there bad stages I didn't understand why they asked me the same questions over and over during visits or thought that my sister (who had short hair at one time) was a boy. I slowly learned that they didn't know they were asking me these things over and over and that is when I started learning about the disease. I will pray for you both. Thanks again for stopping by.

- Jessica

urbannote said...

hi, thank you for commenting on my journal. You have a heartfelt journal, I love the lay out..this entry is very moving...hope to keep in touch.
Ann

sweetangelvoice said...

My grandfather died of Alzheimer's disease. It is truly a heartbreaking and dreadful disease. Seeing the ones you love slowly forget about everything they once held dear is heart-wrenching.