Thursday, January 5, 2006

ALL CIRCUITS ARE BUSY

I tried to call Peggy today but got this message......

All circuits are busy

I will try again later today.

It is interesting that with all the phone lines and all the cell towers...all circuits would be busy.

That is what I think Peggy's brain must be like now. All the circuits are busy and I cannot get through to her.

You would think that I would be accustomed to the fact that Peggy has Alzheimer's Disease and she will never be the same again....

But I am not accustomed to that fact because all the circuits in my brain will not let that message get completely through on some days.

We can use our brains to block unwanted information at will.

This afternoon, I will believe that the lines to Peggy are temporarily down and the circuits will be restored.

I can play that game today until reality restores the circuits in my brain and I accept the fact that Peggy brain circuits will never be restored while she is on this earth.

It is interesting how I balance the difficult places in my life. 

Sometimes, it is OK to pretend that everything is all right  because it makes it easier to navigate through the day.

Today, even though all the circuits are busy, all is right in my world because I said a prayer that the circuits will be repaired....

 If only for a moment.

 

What shall I give to my sister?

Laughter to sustain when sorrow may bring pain.

A bright song of life.

A belief that Winter ends in the glory of Spring.

A prayer of hope for a peace that will forever stay.

( Lea Palmer )

Let him have all your worries and cares, for he is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.

1st Peter  5:7

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

2 comments:

thebaabee said...

MaryLouise,
What a wonderful entry.  I love that scripture verse.  It's basically the same as Let Go and Let God.  So much easier said than done.
Hugs, LuAnne
http://journals.aol.com/thebaabee/LUANNESLIFELIVINGWITHLUPUS

wendy4145 said...

YEs.  And thank God for those survival skills that help us block painful information somtimes.  In a situation as unexplanable as alzheimers, one does need that flexible coping trait to deal with the back and forthness of this disease.

I'm proud of you Mary Louise!  You are balancing things very well.
Love,
Wendy
(please forgive my spelling errors)