Saturday, September 1, 2007

PEGGY'S WINDOW

When someone you love has Alzheimer's disease, it is like looking at them through the window of a locked house. You have no key to the house and can never open the door and walk inside.

You can only see them if you stand on the outside of their house and look through the window.

A major problem with standing on the outside of their window and trying to look inside, is that the window gets more fogged and more dirty with each passing year. 

 The person you remember becomes more and more distorted as the sooty film continues to cover the window to their soul.

With the passing of time and the build-up of soot and fog on the window of who they were........

 It is more difficult for you to see them or for them to see you.

Peggy's window has a build-up of fog that is getting more dense and it is more difficult to see her from this side of her window.

Maybe, with time and research, windows can be cleaned and the people behind the windows will be able to walk to the door, open it wide and let the sun shine into the window of their minds again.

I know that the window of opportunity Peggy and I had ......has been closed and is covered with fog and a gray soot.

One of the things that I deal with as I watch Peggy disappear  is that.......

She doesn't see me standing on the outside of her window any longer and even if she did, she wouldn't remember who I am or why I am standing there. She wouldn't recall the connection we had in our lives.

I don't think that Peggy sees a fogged or dirty window as she stares....

Out of  the window of her mind

It is only dirty and fogged when I try to look.............

 Inside.  

I Love You Today, Peggy!

I miss you!

Mary Louise

 

5 comments:

pharmolo said...

Who can tell, ML?

trishaham said...

tHIS WAS BEAUTIFUL. i FEEL SO FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

mslambersfour said...

No matter what...  We will be by your side making sure your side of the window is clean... and fog free....  we will just continue to hope and pray that Aunt Peggy is given something on her side of that window to clean the way... a bit of hope... a bit of cloth... a bit of water to wash down her side...
We can continue to hope and pray...
We can continue to try and reach...
We can continue to love...
And.... Mom....  I love YOU today!

cmcob2 said...

we are the happiness for those in the fog. the days of youth are relived again and shared with us who love them whithout knowing their whims. we come to learn in the treck back thru time, that we must comfort the declining mind.
    the comfort we get is seen in a smile, that comes not so often from the heart of the declining mind.
    so treasure the smile of the trapped mind from the heart, and know that your loved one smiles when they can because of the love
you as caregiver has brought.
    this is the greatest ,and possibly only, caregiver reward.
                                       
                                                     caregiver survivor
                                                        charlie jr    

wendy4145 said...

There are blessings in Tragedy....

even in joy there is hell....

Through Pain and Loss is where we recieve God....

I know that God is hugging and holding and comforting Peggy.  Peggy is his creation who he loves and cherrishes.  You are too.   I know you worry about her peace, her emotions, her memory.  God Loves her and he is holding her in his arms.  

Believer that.  She isn't suffering as much as you are.  And God loves you and holds you in his arms.

It will all be ok.....  in  the end.  Peggy got to be with you for a short time...BUT...She is in your heart eternally
Love,
Wendy