Saturday, July 8, 2006

THE LITTLE THINGS

Last night I was thinking about Peggy, as I do many nights in the quiet.

It's funny how my mind thinks of the small things about her.

Her laugh or the way she would wave her hand while she was talking. The way she told a joke and would laugh through whole joke as she was trying to tell it. I would get more tickled at the way she tried to tell it than the joke itself. The way she would toss her head so that her hair would move, especially when we took pictures. It was our model pose, turn away from the camera and then back. Sometimes, we would just laugh at silly things and we would laugh until we cried.

So many memories of the small things about Peggy.

Sometimes, I still cannot believe that this happened to her. She was the youngest of four girls and so full of life.

How? Why?

The same questions that are asked by so many family members as they watch someone they love disappear.

Alzheimer's disease is devastating at any age but why did it strike someone so young, so bright, so active as Peggy?

Why?

Peggy is the youngest patient in the Nursing home where she lives.

Life is not fair sometimes and it certainty wasn't fair to Peggy who had so many years ahead of her.

That leaves me with questions that no one can answer.

How do I handle her leaving with grace and not only the fear that I too, will develop the disease?

What Peggy's disappearance has taught me is to live every day as if it was my last. I have learned that each day and each breathe is precious.

I really knew all of those things but I didn't truly understand the significance until ......

I started watching my sister...Disappear!

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

 

6 comments:

memes121 said...

http://journals.aol.com/memes121/AsIAM/entries/703

barbpinion said...

You're still the strong, courageous, loving sister I remember. Have not commented at times but always read. Your family is blessed to have you within it. I keep praying for all of you, especially, sweet Peggy.
Much love,
Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK
        http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HOPEFORTODAY

wendy4145 said...

That is good information ML.  To really understand that each breath we take is a precious gift.  To really appreciate life has to be a wonderful thing.

Love,
Wendy

sanforized6 said...

Mary Louise, As always I feel your hurt, BUT, this time I also share it. I lost a sister on the 4th of July to complications from a massive heart attack. She, Pat, was only 65. I realize there is no comparison to the daily sorrow you go through, just wish I didn't have to do it too.

Keep on writing, as you are an inspiration to us all. rich

magogos said...

Your love for Peggy, and the thoughtfulness you put in around her disappearance has been helpful to me in many ways. I am still so sorry for the pain, and keep you, Peggy and the whole family in my prayers. Margo

mcsgrl37 said...

 
  MaryLouise, I, too live with the fear of getting the disease. Sometimes, when I forget something like we all do at times, it actually scares me. I say, "please God, don't let this happen to me"  I am no better than my Mom, but I don'
t want my loved ones to go through what I have. It hurts so bad to sit with your loved one, and they don't even know who you are  I pray for you, Dear.  Mary