Wednesday, February 22, 2006


I saw a group of children playing in their front yard.

One little boy was very upset with his playmates and shouted.

Not fair, Not fair.That is not the rules, you have to play by the rules or I am going home!

He was very upset as he stomped away.

I felt for him because he is just starting to understand that people and life do not always play fair or play by the rules.

He does not yet know that sometimes, you can not go home and be safe from the bullies on the playground.

Peggy played by the rules.

She was an intelligent woman, avid tennis player and golfer. She watched her weight and ate right. She was a volunteer in many programs to help others. She was a kind person who believed in God and attended church every Sunday. She gave of herself to others every day of her life and Peggy played fair, she played by the rules.

Alzheimer's disease hasn't played by the rules and it is not fair.

Alzheimer's is just one of the bullies that play on the playgrounds of life. There are other bullies like Cancer, MD, MS, Parkinson's, LG disease and many other diseases that have formed a gang and terrorizes anyone who tries to play by the rules on the playground of life.

These bullies roam the playgrounds of the world and knock down people who are trying to play fair and by the rules.

When I see what these diseases can do to people, I want to shout.....

Not fair, not fair at all. Go Home!

There are times when I hear Peggy struggle to talk, days when she will not say a word to me and I want to scream.

I want to look Alzheimer's in the face as if we were on a playground and shout like that little boy did to his playmates.

Not fair, not fair. Go away, go home. Peggy and I do not want to play with you any more.

I'm taking Peggy far away from you and you can't play with us ever again!

We're going home!

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise


wendy4145 said...

true. the sooner we learn about bullies and unfairness, the better.... we are ont in heaven yet... we aer here, on earth where most things are unfair.

sanforized6 said...

Not Fair!! Wish we could change the rules. rich

lowis6535 said...

    The important thing to remember is that your sister is in a comfy world where she doesn't reason ... doesn't grasp the unfairness.
     Often, I have felt pain when people "put a horse down" because of their perceived indignity that the horse would suffer. But ... that indignity is only in the mind of that person ... the horse, if not in terrible pain ... is absolutely content just to be fed & sheltered in comfort!
    If you would put the situation in that perspective ... she is content ... therefore ... happy with the status-quo.  


stupidsheetguy said...

Just wanted to write and let you know I'm still reading and following this story.


michele21569 said...


I found your journal about Peggy and Watching her Disappear, and have literally went back and started from the beginning. You and Peggy have GREATLY touched me and my heart. You have tugged at my heartstrings. I have cried, laughed, and remembered growing up. I pray for you and Peggy. I have quite a few favorite entries, but the ones that I remember for you are "Dear God" and "Avalanche", they are so touching, and have left an imprint on me unbelievable.
My husbands Granny had Alz's and passed away last year. I know your struggle and it's ugly grasp it takes on the person we love. Ruby was such a spiritual lady and her daughters took care of her while in the nursing home. When she finally was at her end of going home, my husband and I prayed over her, for peace, to go home to her Father. To see her husband and other family that had already crossed over to Home. She knew prayer, she repeated "AMEN-AMEN". Your Peggy knows God, as your family. Please just remember that God has Peggy in His hands and is not letting go.
Mary Louise, thank you for your journal. Thank you for sharing with all of us-your greif, happiness, anger. We all share it with you while we read. God Bless you and your family. God Bless You Peggy. Your sister loves you & remembers you.