Peggy husband told me that she is satisfied and happy most of the time.
She likes her room and the people she sees every day in the nursing home.
Peggy is comfortable in her world of Alzheimer's disease.
I am thankful that she finds her world is comfortable.
I ask myself this question...
Why am I so uncomfortable when I think of my sister in her Alzheimer's world of comfort?
I should just be happy for her and I am most of the time but the selfish part of my mind is angry.
Who should I be angry with?
Peggy for being comfortable and forgetting about me or should I be angry at myself for having these negative feelings?
My world is uncomfortable when I think of Peggy and what we have lost.
I thought we would grow old together and be these two cute old ladies stirring up our part of the world.
Instead, she is living in her comfortable world and I will grow old without her in my life and a part of me will always be uncomfortable with that realization.
I will grow old but the memory of my sister will make me stir my world a little harder.
That what being uncomfortable does.
It will make me search for ways to find the comfort I need to get through any challenge that comes my way. I do not have Peggy in my life to discuss every day problems or joys.
Peggy may not be a physical presence in my growing older.
But her laughter and fun loving nature are a part of who I am and will be.
There will just be one old lady walking through the rest of my life. That old lady will be me but I will carry a big spoon with Peggy name on it...
Just to keep the world around me stirred up....In her honor
I Love You Today, Peggy!
I miss you.