Thursday, June 9, 2005

THE ALZHEIMER'S STORM

My husband and I were on a cruise last week.

There was a television in the stateroom and a balcony where I could sit and watch the ocean roll by.

There was also a channel on the television where you could track the ship's progress in the Western Caribbean.

On Wednesday evening, while standing on the balcony, I noticed that the sea was getting rough.

The evening sky darkened and the wind whipped my hair in all directions. The sky became very dark and signaled that a storm was approaching

I walked back in the stateroom and turned on the television to the progress of the ship channel.

There, on the screen was the flashing blip that was the ship.

 To the right of the ship was the island of Cuba and to the left was Mexico. In the center, between the two land masses there was a big orange blob. That blob was a storm of considerable size. The ship that I was on is one of the biggest ships afloat and I felt safe even though I knew that there was a storm was in my future.

There was no way for the Captain of our ship to avoid going through the center of this storm.

Life can be like the ship in a storm when someone you love has Alzheimer's disease.

You can see the Alzheimer's storm approaching and there is no place to hide. You must go through the storm and weather the waves that toss your heart around.

The waves of despair come to batter the shores of my soul.

The sky in my mind darkens and leaves me feeling small in the ocean that is Alzheimer's disease.

But there is only one course for my ship and that is...

To continue my ship's course through the middle of Peggy's storm.

There is nothing that I can do to calm the sea where my sister is living.

There is nothing that I can do to stop the waves from crashing around her.

There is nothing that I can do to keep her from drowning in this sea.

What I can do is...

Stand on the bow of my ship with binoculars placed against my eyes and never let her out of my sight.

 My sister will disappear beneath the waves  and stormy skies caused by Alzheimer's disease.  I just pray that my ship will be strong enough to get through this storm with her.

The skies around my ship will lighten and sunshine will shine on the ocean of my life once again but...

I will never forget the storm that caused Peggy to disappear beneath the waves.

I will never forget what it felt like to be tossed in the Alzheimer's ocean and be afraid.

And I will never forget the experience of Watching My Sister...Disappear.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

1 comment:

lowis6535 said...

    If Peggy is losing her human attributes ... think of it this way.  Our animal friends are serenely happy if they are comfortable, well fed, and life is soothing.
Lois