I collect sand.
I have sand samples from beaches all over the world. They are displayed in glass jars on a shelf in my home.
It is amazing how different the samples appear from the beaches of the world and yet...they have something in common because they are all sand.
The colors of the sand range from pink to black, white to gray, course to fine and from rocks to pebbles.
I think that the grieving process is a lot like the sand from the different beaches of the world.
No one grieves in exactly the same way. There are steps to the grieving process but we all experience the process differently.
The way that I am experiencing the grief over watching Peggy disappear is not the same as the grief of other family members who are doing the same.
It does not make my grief greater or deeper than theirs in any way. It is my personal way of grieving that I have tailored because of my experiences. We all have different life experiences just like there are differences in the sand.
I watched the funeral of President Regan and felt intense grief. Not because I knew him personally but because I have a life experience with the devastation of Alzheimer's disease. I had a connection to the grief of Mrs Regan but nowhere near the same level of grief that she was experiencing.
Just like the grains of sand...grief is different and experienced on different levels for different people. It depends on the life experiences we have had and our ability to put ourselves in another persons place. It depends on our life experiences with the person that we are losing or have lost.
Just remember, when you are watching or experiencing grief that we all grieve in our own personal way. One way is not the best way.
In an emergency room, when families are given bad news, the reactions of family members cover a wide range of emotion. Some will pass out while other will simply stare at the floor. Some will scream while doing a dance of grief while others will sit and silently cry.
Just like the grains of sand... we are different in our grief and yet we are all the same because we all grieve.
I see life in pictures in my mind and I see Peggy's life slipping away. She is silently slipping away like the grains of sand sliding from the top of a hourglass to the bottom.
And I grieve by writing my grief as I continue to.........
Watch my Sister slide, like the grains of sand from the top of the hourglass of life to the bottom and silently.... Disappear.
I Love You Today, Peggy!