Thursday, July 8, 2004

WHEN THE WORDS WON'T COME

Sometimes...My heart is so full that I write...write...write!

Sometimes, My heart is so full...That there are NO words!

That is where I have found myself this week. Full of words but with no access to them. No way to write my feelings on paper.

My sisters, Betty Jean and Barbara spent the past few days visiting with Peggy.

Their reports, several times a day were not good. I knew by my daily phone calls to Peggy that she was getting worse but to hear it for real was difficult to process.

My heart has been heavy. My words concerning Peggy stayed inside my head, roaming around, trying to find a home in my soul.

 I felt like I was watching the fireworks on the 4th of July again.

One after another the fireworks of information exploded in the black sky over my head.      

The colors were brilliant and the sounds were so ear shattering that I could feel the vibration of the explosions in my chest.

Then, there was the last explosion of color, that last call from Betty Jean and Barbara as they left Peggy to go home. The sound and sight of the last rocket of information exploded and faded away leaving a black sky and silence.

The silence was deafening to my ears, leaving a sadness that I could not express. 

Some of the news about Peggy made me laugh and some of the news filled my heart so much... that there were no words to express how hard it is as I continue to...

Watch My Sister...Disappear.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

2 comments:

barbpinion said...

And I love you, Mary Louise. I am so sorry you and your sisters are losing Peggy. Bless you, dear.  *Barb*

merelyp said...

Ah, but, these words did quite well.
As usual.