Monday, October 6, 2008



                                      I was informed on September 30th by AOL

that they will be closing down their journal site.

Every one who has been writing journals on this 

 AOL site is very sad.

We have until October 31st to transfer all the

contents of our journals to another site or lose them.

My first entry about watching Peggy disappear was on October 30, 2003.



P. J. ( left) is dying from Alzheimer's Disease.

We were always very close.

It is so very hard to see her disappearing before my eyes.

I call her every morning and have since she was diagnosed 2 years ago.

She is slipping away fast and now calls me "Aunt Louise."

I struggle with losing her.

I miss her more than I can write.

Only people who have experienced this living death

can understand what I am feeling.

I am saying goodbye to her every day and

I always say before I hang up...I Love you, Today P. J

 and she will say...I love you too but she can't remember my name.

I love you. I miss you today.

 P J...My Sister...My Friend!

This was one of the first comments I received

and this comment helped me to keep writing and

 to express my grief with words.




Hi Mary Louise,
In all honesty, I had to find the courage within myself to get past the title of your journal before I could read it. My dad lost his youngest brother to this terrible disease it was devastating to say the least. The reason I needed courage to read your journal is because I watched my youngest sister disappear to cancer. We lost her 15 months ago, her funeral was on her 44th birthday. I hope you don't mind if I read your journal from the beginning and go forward to the present time because I feel that is the only way you get to know someone better. I do not have a journal but my daughter does and introduced me to journals after I lost my lil sis. I must say it has helped me through the grief one day at a time.

Did you ever hear that saying " I complained I had no shoes, until I met a man with no feet?" Sometimes my days seem so hard because I have a child with Tourettes Syndrome. Its not drastic or life threatening but it still drains my heart and soul. My heart goes out to you and your family. I have no shoes but you have no feet. I will say a prayer for your sister.


I know what your going thru...My dad is slowing disappearing too.  It i so sad to see.  Just hang in there and be strong she is going to heaven!!!

Very touching commentary. I would not have recognized Peggy. But I have not seen her in decades I suppose.
this blog is a good idea.
thanks for sharing.


Mary Louise,

I know it must be very hard dealing with Alzheimer's and losing your baby sister. I know it would crush me if I lost my sister. You have been strong and brave to write the journal and share your experience with others.

I am proud of you. I am praying for you, PJ, her family and your other sisters.

God be with you all.


These were the words from people who read that first entry and gave me the strength and courage to keep writing even though it was painful.


Writing this journal about Peggy has been life saving experience for me. Having so many people comment and send prayers has saved me in many ways.

To date....66,165 people have taken the time to write a comment or read this journal.

I will be forever grateful for the help and comfort this has provided.

I hope before the dead line of October 31st, I will have a new journal home and will give interested readers the address.

If I decide to stop writing about Watching.....I will say...


Goodbye from my sister....Peggy and from me.

I Love You Today, Peggy and always will remember our lives as sisters before Alzheimer's/Picks disease took you away from all who love you!

Mary Louise




Mary Louise


dwhee70041 said...

Mary Louise,
I know many of us have been reading every word.  I hope you move over and join us.  Please do....I would hate to lose a friend.

mosie1944 said...

I'll keep the light on for you over on Blogger.

wendy4145 said...

I share your pain, as aol has many pictures from five years ago until now that I have to find a new home for.  I have been rushing around for the past weeks trying to find ways to transfer those pix ( that were uncesseful being burned to cd) onto the 2 computers we have and ON TO CD.  I figured out the way. I have almost completed this and can now delete the pictures in my hard drive for space and AOL PIcture Center STorage and Albums can now disappear.  It has taken much time and effort to save the pictures that were so important to me that i couldn't delete them until now.  Now I have a better place to store them.

I hope you find ways to transfer this very special journal to a differen't home so that you are not ending a good thing, just transfering or moving it to a new home.  I like the new home for my pictures... they are on CD now and I can take t hem at any time to a phot lab and have them turned into pictures.  Some of the pix were of births, some were of death, some, just younger form of our lives.  But all were too precious to let get thrown away by AOL.  

If I can help, let me know.  Have you tried EWOFF Journals?  It's free on line journal storage:

eWoFF - Your Web of Family and Friends   Here is the URL link

My best to you and yours.  Hope to be hearing from you soon.

tendernoggle said...


ajquinn354 said...

Mary Louise, I also hope you will keep your journal going/blogger wise.  Know it's been tough writing about what your Sis has, but believe that it's been a help for you also dear in accepting and dealing with this.  Take care, hope you'll continue your journaling.  All of us who comment on your writings do so because we care. Arlene (AJ)