Friday, August 17, 2007


I was in the dentist office yesterday. The room was small with padded chairs lining the walls. The chairs were decorated with grass green cushions and a ton of worn magazines littered the small tables.

In one corner of the room sat a mother with three small children who were all playing on the floor. The little boy was running cars back and forth on the shaggy rug and the girls were talking with animated faces while playing with their dolls.

I noticed that one of the little girls small for her age. I thought she must be around four years old. She had wispy, thin blonde hair and eyes that sparkled as she talked. The other noticeable thing about her was that she had a very large nose and it did not fit her small face. She seemed blissfully unaware of her face or her nose.

The door to the office opened and a little boy walked in with his Dad. The boy looked at the children playing on the floor as he walked past them at to sit in a chair on the other side of the room. He looked like he might be four or five years old.

He watched the three children as they played and didn't offer to join them. The little girl looked up at him and said, wanna play?

He jumped down to join them on the floor. He was waiting to be wanted.

He didn't notice that the little girl had wispy, thin hair or that her nose was too large for her face like I did.

He just saw someone who had asked him to join in the play. He was unaware of her physical appearance as he jumped down to play.

I watched them play and laugh and wondered when self- consciousness enteres the mind. At what age do we notice we are different and retreat into ourselves?

At this point in the young lives, they are equal. There is no skin color, no ugly or pretty, no difference. They are just playing and enjoying one another.

They will be blissfully un-aware until we teach them different.

Peggy is at a stage of being blissfully un-aware.

She doesn't worry about her weight, hair, make-up or if people like her or not.

She is blissfully unaware and lives in the moment just like the children on the floor of the dental office.

This state of being will not change for Peggy like it will for the children I saw yesterday.

She continues to go backward in time.

I am thankful that she is blissfully unaware.

She needs the basic needs met and nothing more.

No houses or cars. No clothes or fancy jewelry.

She only needs to be taken care of and loved...just like the children on the floor......

There are times when I think that blissfully un-aware would be a nice place but....

I'm not ready to move there because I am too..... aware.

I am glad that Peggy has un-learned some of the lessons that we were taught as we grew from children to adults.

I am glad that nothing hurts her feelings and hurtful words mean nothing but.....

When a negitive is taken away so is the positive that is always on the flip side.


I love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise


wendy4145 said...

I like that ( negative/positive ) flip side!

THis is a beautiful picture of Peggy with her Popcycle and Cracker!

I hadn't seen it before!

yes... and thanks for the reminder... the beauty of children and their innocence.


kirkbyj05 said...

Your love for your sister is beautiful and she is beautiful too.  As she disappears so she appears to us through you.  Its very touching reading your journal.  Thank you for helping us to get to know her and you.   You are a very special lady.
God Bless you both.

Jeanie xx

rdautumnsage said...

What a wonderfully astute observation! If we can be aware that we are these conscientious creatures and attempt to be more accepting, we become better human beings to ourselves and those around us. By being aware we can change our behaviors. Peggy has passed the point of having that choice. I believe having you in her life gives her those choices of awareness from time to time. (Hugs) Indigo

tendernoggle said...

My mama has alzheimers/dementia...It is so hard...She has her good days and her bad lately she has her good minutes and her bad minutes...she forgets so quickly what we have just said...she is forgetting her grandchildren and some of her you said..shs seems to be going backward in time...
Your sister has the sweetest smile...
take care,

amyrangei said...

Such a sweet entry.  This one choked me up

magogos said...

You think so deeply and make connections so well. Your awareness has taught me about Pegy's un-awareness. Thank you. Margo