I had another dream about Peggy the other day. I don't have them as often as I once did and I think that is normal.
Dreams feel so real that I actually felt that Peggy and I had talked when I awaken.
I'm sure a Psychiatrist would have a field day with this one!
I called Peggy and we were talking just like we used to do. I asked her if she could come to visit me. The longer we talked, the slower her voice became and the softer it became, the further away it became. Her words were was so soft towards the last of our conversation that I had to strain to hear her speak.
I started talking louder and telling her all the things we could do and the places we could go while she was here.
When there was was no response from her and I said; Peggy, are you there? Peggy, can you hear me?
There was still no response from her end of the phone. I felt a sense of desperation as I continued to call her name. When she finally spoke, it was like listening to a recording that was slowing down. Her words were slow, muffled and distorted.
I yelled into the phone...Peggy, Peggy, Peggy, can you still hear me?
She finally said in a slow, distorted voice..Yes, but Louise...............
I don't know anything new to say! I can't remember anymore words.
And then her voice faded away and I awaken.
How true that dream was when I thought about it later.
Peggy is like a record recording that has been so damaged, so distorted over time, so scratched and warped that it can barely be recognized as the new recording that it was when we used to talk.
The old Peggy is damaged beyond repair and the new Peggy.....
Can't remember the words to say.
I didn't like the way that the dream ended but I did get to talk to her in the beginning of the dream and that was a gift.
I think that our dreams help us to stay connected to those we cannot connect with and work out unresolved feelings.
It's rather nice to know that I will always have a connection to Peggy in my dreams. The dreams are coming less often now as I become resigned to her disease.
But for now, I know that....
I'll talk to you in my dreams, Peggy!
I Love You Today, Peggy!