Friday, November 17, 2006

MESS WITH MY SISTER...MESS WITH ME!

I have learned that you cannot watch someone you love disappear before your eyes and not be affected on a very personal level.

When I forget a name or can't recall something quickly....I am concerned.

I have learned that you cannot remove yourself from the fear of  getting Alzheimer's disease or Picks disease but have to find ways to live with the possibility.

I have learned to live with this fear can be debilitating in living your life...if you let it.

My Doctor and good friend has told me that there is a test that I can take to know my possibilities concerning the diseases. He also said that if the test came back positive that it was no guarantee that I would develop the diseases.

I gave having the test long  and serious thought and have decided not to have the test.

I thought...What would I do different if I consented to the test and they came back positive?

My answer was... nothing.  Many areas of my life have had considerable growth since I started watching Peggy disappear.  I have learned to slow down and live in the minute, the hour and the day.

I don't worry about what people think of me like I used to.  I don't worry if everyone doesn't like me like I used to.

Now, I am comfortable with knowing that everyone will not like me or approve of who I am and what I do and that is all right.

I have learned because of Peggy journey, that each day is truly a gift.

I have learned that there are no guarantees in life no matter how hard you try.

No guarantee that our health will always be good and that life will always play fair. It is not a scary possibility to me but a simple reality. A reality that reminds me to live today... to not let yesterday and tomorrow rule who I am today.

Life and health have not been fair to Peggy but because of her struggles...

I have learned how to live.

Because of her struggles, I have learned to live every day and every minute.

I know in my heart that if I ever start to disappear...

I have a husband, children, a brother and two other sister's who will walk the path with me even if I  forget who they were in my life.

NO ONE KNOWS BETTER THAN A SISTER....

HOW WE GREW UP.

NO ONE KNOWS BETTER THAN A SISTER WHO OUR CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WERE.

NO ONE KNOWS BETTER THAN A SISTER WHAT OUR FAVORITEGAMES WERE.

NO ONE KNOWS BETTER THAT A SISTER WHO OUR FIRST LOVES WERE.

NO ONE KNOWS BETTER THAN A SISTER WHAT OUR  FIRST HURTS WERE.

NO ONE KNOWS BETTER THAN A SISTER....OUR LIFE HISTORY AND LIFE PRESENT.

NO ONE KNOWS BETTER THAN A SISTER.....

THAT I WILL NEED THEM IF I EVER START TO DISAPPEAR!

Peggy is our baby sister and we will continue to be there for her even though we are all miles apart.

We are there for Peggy in love as we were when we grew up together. 

Our motto was then and is now...

MESS WITH MY SISTER...MESS WITH ME!

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

 

 

5 comments:

siennastarr said...

Even though I don't always comment, I am still reading, MaryLouise.  I still keep Peggy in my prayers and look forward to your updates on her.

This was a beautiful entry.. as they all are..  

Jackie

magogos said...

i think that, despite the terrible, slow loss of peggy, you are indeed a woman who is blessed. margo

wendy4145 said...

Thank you for sharing that very important information.  To live every day to it's fullest, to take no days for granted.  I can cleary see through your words how you are coping with living, while part of you is dying.  You are very strong!

Love,
Wendy

joan3424 said...

I have been reading your bblogs for awhile now and am touched by the love you have for your sister.  Today, in looking at the pics, it surprised me to see Beavercreek, Ohio ... that's where I am.

salemslot9 said...

every family suffers in some way...