CAN YOU MEASURE THE WORTH OF A SUNBEAM,
THE WORTH OF A TREASURED SMILE,
THE VALUE OF LOVE AND OF GIVING,
THE THINGS THAT MAKE LIFE WORTHWHILE?
( Anna Garnett Schultz)
I received a mail recently that suggested that I didn't understand what it was like to be a full time care giver. The mail also said that my journal was only about my feelings and hasn't helped anyone at all, especially my sister.
I will agree that I am not a full time care giver.
I will also agree that my words are about my feelings as I watch Peggy disappear.
I must also agree that writing this journal has done nothing to help Peggy.
My writing is totally selfish, I understand that very well.
But I do hope that by keeping this journal, I have put a light on what it feels like to watch someone you love disappear. A light on the devastation of losing someone you love who is still living and breathing.
A small light on what it feels like from this side of the disease.
Not as a full time care giver, which would be a difficult task but as........
A sister, who loves her sister and continues to struggle with a mountain of feelings as I try to let her go with all the dignity and strength that I possess.
I am amazed by the courage and tireless efforts of full time care givers who work every day, giving care to loved ones who are dying from many diseases and not just Alzheimer's disease.
I am Peggy's sister and I love her and I will continue to write about my struggle and my feelings as I continue to....
I Love You Today, Peggy!
I know that you love me and are proud of me and that is all that really matters!