Thursday, September 24, 2009

PEGGY CONTINUES TO DISAPPEAR

I got this new picture of Peggy yesterday, I couldn't believe that this old tiny person
is my youngest sister. Alzheimer;s disease has taken her mind and now, her beautiful body. One thing that the disease will never take away is her wonderful smile. She does laugh and smile a lot.
I guess Peggy has another few months on this earth. At least....she smiles, walks and is generally happy but she is beginning to forget how to chew and swallow so time is counting down for her.
I have cried all day and even experienced a panic attack when this image got into my head.
The only thing that I could still see through my tears as they fall and I write this entry...... is
Two sisters running barefooted through our neighborhood in Birmingham, Alabama. Climbing trees, roller skating, riding bikes, making clover chains, walking to Joe's store with a nickle each to buy a devils food cake or a grape Popsicle. I remember first dates, last dates and crying in the front bedroom when we were hurt by a boyfriend.
PJ and I shared so much of our selves with one another all through our lives. Alzheimer's came and stayed in her mind and has erased all of her memories but....I still remember, Peggy.
Seeing this photo of you made me aware that you will be leaving us soon. Far to early. You missed so much of your 40s,50s and just turned 60.
I will never forget this picture of you, Peggy!!! Not because you look bad but because You look tired and ready to leave. I know you want to go because you flashed me your beautiful smile in the picture.
I am heart broken tonight and the tears block my view of the keys,
PJ, When you die, will you do me a favor?
Find Mother and Daddy and tell them I am doing OK but sure miss them.
Just like I am missing you.
Thank goodness that we had such fun growing up as "THE ROSS GIRLS"
Thank Mama And Daddy for that when you see them and give them My biggest bear hug!
You know the bear hug PJ...The one you hated to get from me! Ha Also tell Daddy that his little Porky Pig is wishing she could hand him one more tool as he worked on cars in the back yard!
Take care of them, Peggy and I know they are excited that their baby girl is coming home to them
I Love You Today, Peggy!
Mary Louise

13 comments:

ADB said...

Mary Louise,
I was pleased to see your blog flashed up on the Reader for the first time in months, but knew to be prepared. I barely know how to respond in writing, if only because the image speaks for itself. I cannot begin to imagine how you must feel, now that Peggy is shrinking physically as well as mentally. I trust she is not aware of her physical plight, and hope she will be made comfortable in this final period she is with you and yours, in the flesh. In the mind, she left you several years ago.

Guido

Donna said...

That is indeed very sad; my thoughts are with you, and with all who love Peggy.

madcobug said...

May God be with you both. Helen

Sugar said...

i feel for you, my dear. alzheimers robbed me of my mother. she, too, disappeared in mind & body.
my thoughts & prayers are with peggy, you, & all the family.

Kathy said...

I often think about you and wonder how Peggy is doing. I am glad to hear from you but sad that you have such sad news. I think you are handling it very well by what you've written on your blog. But I also know you are being torn apart with grief. I am keeping you and Peggy in my prayers. May God Bless you both......

Maire said...

Mary Louise, I was happy to see that you are still posting about your beautiful sister...We again have another family member in the throes of Alzheimers, my uncle. It is heartbreaking. He is in assisted living near me, his daughter lives so far away.
I don't know what else to say, except to send you a big virtual hug
Take care
Maire

Astaryth said...

I was glad to see a post from you, but almost afraid to click thru. Peggy is so lucky to have you to remember for the both of you.

My grandmother is going thru this. My Mom stays with her and cares for her, and it always breaks my heart when I talk to them and Mom tells me things like, "Today Mom (my g-mother) asked me if I knew her name. I told her yes and told her her full name. Afterwords she said, that's nice because I don't remember who I am at all". Just makes me want to cry. Last time I visited after I left my beloved Grandmother, who always remembered all birthdays, anniversaries and the name of every child, grandchild, niece, nephew, greatnieces and nephews and all things family, asked my Mom the next day, "Did those nice people leave? Who were they?" *sniffle*

kelly said...

Keep holding on to those memories you once shared.. I can feel your pain and it saddened me to read this. I hope you can find peace one day, knowing that when the day comes... try and keep it close to heart that she will be happy once again...many prayers to you..
Kelly~

pam said...

Hello Mary Louise, I don't think we have met before. My name Is Pam and I am from Scotland. I am sending you the biggest hug humanly possibe from one stranger to another. My heart goes out to you and I wish you strength at this sad time. Please try to keep remembering the good times. Your peggy sure has a beautiful smile and Is very lucky to have such a wonderful,kind and compassionate sister as you. Keeping you In my thoughts & prayers. Love Pam.xx

Louise *Star Dust* said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. She does have a beautful smile.

Linda's World said...

Mary Louise, I've followed your Blog for sometime but don't think I've ever left a comment. My heart aches for you and Peggy's family. What precious memories you have & I thank you for sharing them with the rest of us. I've recently felt my dear friend of 55 years is heading down this dreaded path. The sad thing is that she is aware of herself slipping. I plan to be there for her as long as I can. Sending hugs your way...Linda in Washington state

salemslot9 said...

too sad

Millie said...

Mary Louise....I am so sorry to read about Peggy and John. I knew them both. Peggy was my friend, along with Mary, Martha and Gail. We went to church together and school (until Peggy transferred to Fairfield or Ensley.) Bro DeArmond was Pastor and Bro Harris. I believe Bro Smith was the Music Director. When looking for Peggy on FB, I came across your page. Needless to say, the tears flooded and I flashed back many years to lots of fun with her. She is always so beautiful, physically and spiritually.....don't believe I ever heard her say anything against anyone, and sings like an Angel, in fact all of you did. I do not know if God has taken her home yet, so please let me know. I will pray for John as I remember him also. You have a tremendous load placed on you but the Lord is right by your side....besides who else could have written such beautiful memoirs to her and John. You will be in mine and my husbands prayers.
Millie (Northcutt) Herrington