Monday, August 11, 2008

Missing Peggy

I don't think that I will ever get over missing the Peggy that I grew up with...The Peggy that I knew.

She is doing as well as she can at this stage of the disease. She has lost some of the weight that she had gained and is walking a lot.

Her husband said that she is looking like the old Peggy but with one thing still gone forever....Her memory.

She is smiling but no one knows why.

Alzheimer's disease is a strange prison. No one is paroled or set free.

No one who loves them is ever set free because we remember who they were.....

 

Who They Were....

When they were not in prison. Who they were when they were not locked up against their will and not sentenced to a life of forgotten memories.

But then again......

If they do not carry the burdens of remembering the sad times, the lonely times,

the empty times and only know the moment...

The wonderful, happy and joyous times would also be forgotten.

One can't exist without the other.

I remember so many good times and so many bad times...

I am grateful because it means that I do not have Alzheimer's disease.

But it does mean that Peggy, my sister, my friend does not remember who I am.

I remember and sometimes......It hurts....

 Especially when I remember Peggy and wish that she remembered me.

Life can be a strange teacher and I have learned  much about myself because Peggy became another Alzheimer's disease statistic.   

        

I Love You Today, Peggy!  I miss you!

Mary Louise

 

5 comments:

wendy4145 said...

You will always miss her.  But she won't ALWAYS be trapped into forgetting you.

Love,
Wendy

pharmolo said...

It is a cruel twist that you have lost someone - that is physically still there.

naperdillygirl said...

I'm sorry for your pain.  It can be a cruel thing with really nothing to gain but strength.  Take Care. N.

ajquinn354 said...

Mary Louise, my heart aches for you dear when I read your words.  Bless you dear. Arlene (AJ)

s0ngbird1962 said...

I have been working with Alzhiemer patients for 19 years now.   No doubt that this disease is so much harder on the family, who love them, who remember, who watch them disappear.   There are no words to make it better, sorry seems so insufficient.

Maybe somewhere in there Peggy does remember & that's why she's smiling.  Or perhaps if she doesn't remember, at least maybe she knows that she was so loved and that brings her comfort in her world....

Many hugs to you as you continue on this journey with your sister.   I have 2 sisters so I understand how special they are.