Wednesday, June 13, 2007




I stumbled across a blog last night that had a comment about my journal.

It said...Watching My Sister...Disappear----Drama Queen Blog

At first, I was hurt, then upset, then angry.

How dare this person put a tag on my journal about losing my sister to Alzheimer's disease!

I couldn't get the comment out of my mind. I think he is right on some level because watching my sister disappear is real drama in my life.

I have received thousands of wonderful, supportive comments and yet this one, negative comment rolled around in my mind for quite a while.

This person dismissed my writing and it didn't feel good. I wished that I could talk to him and win him over by explaining how this disease effects family members. But he probably could not hear my words.

Losing someone you love,whether it is fast or slow and deserves a bit of drama.

 I am very serious about teaching what Alzheimer's and other brain deseases can do to the person affected and to all who love that person.

I think he needs to know Peggy before he decides that this journal is a waste of time for him and anyone who reads my words.

People grieve in different ways and writing this journal is my way to grieve over losing my sister.

W. M. S D.    Drama....Yes.

Writer of W. M. S. D.     Drama Queen.....O K.....At times, Yes.

Getting defensive over my style of writing....Yes!

Writing this journal and reading the support of so many people has made this journey..... not as lonely as it may have been.

I want to thank all of you for the comments of support over the years.

Personally, I think that Peggy deserves all the drama that I can write.

I will never let her disappear quietly for I am.......

The W. M. S. D. Drama Queen and Peggy is my sister!

I like the title after I got used to saying it to myself.  I know that Peggy would get a huge laugh if she knew that I had been labeled a D. Q. and knowing her, she would probably call me D. Q. for the rest of my life!  

 Peggy would make sure to remind me of my title every chance she got....... If only.....

She wasn't disappearing from Alzheimer's Disease and..... if only....

She still remembered who I am!                 

I Love You Today, Peggy!

 Mary Louise




joan3424 said...

Mary Louise,

Never stop your touching tribute to your sister, Peggy.
There are always losers who thrive on trying to make
others feel bad.  Don't let those morons let you lose
another moment's sleep.   Keep doing what you're
doing, I so look forward to your stories about Peggy
and how you are coping.   Peggy would be so honored.

Joan in Beavercreek

wendy4145 said...

OK.  Well obviously t he DIP SHIT that called you a DRAMA QUEEN has some issues of his own that he truly doesn't KNOW a proper way to deal with!

I doubt he will visit you again.  AND I'd rather be a drama queen than a DIP SHIT!

Yes... Your sister does deserve any and all the drama that she can get ( i you want to call it DRAMA)  I don't feel you are acting dramaticly at all.  You have very maturely stated educational experiences in dealing with the toughest thing any of us could face.

Maybe Dip Shit Has Dementia!   Swine do get in the way of our pearls once in a while....

Shake it off.  He is hugely out numbered on this board!


whitedove3622 said...

After losing my husband after 52 years of marriage I can identify with your loss and I know what grief feels like. I only wish I could do a blog like yours in tribute to the memory of my dear husband. I think its a wonderful thing you do. It helps others deal with thier own heartaches and know that there are people out there that deal with losses too. I only hope the person who called you a Drama Queen never has to experience such grief but if they do I know they will understand finally how it really feels

mgmturner said...

Mary Louise,

Never ONCE in the past year (maybe longer) that I have been reading your jounal did the words "drama queen" enter my mind.  All I see is a woman who is bearing the pain for someone she loves very much, and at the same time educating the rest of us.  Something very real and very raw and very personal.  I have always felt honored that you choose to share your pain with the rest of the world in such an open and honest way.  When I chose to stop receiving alerts over six months ago because it was overwhelming me, yours was one of 5 that I couldn't turn off.  I still have those same 5 on alert, and as long as you choose to come here, I will be reading.

I've learned that people who make negative or derogatory comments on someone's journal, or people who journal negatively about another person's journal are people who are either very jealous of a person's writing ability or simply very unhappy with themselves and their own lives.  I feel sorry for people who feel the need to hurt others just because they are hurting themselves.  

I hope this person won't keep you from being as open and honest as you have always been.  Funny, I dreamed of Ronald Reagan last night (in regards to Alzheimer's,) and in the same dream that a family member had the disease but that they had a moment of clarity with me and I was sharing it with the rest of the family, joyously.  

Thank you for being here, ML.  You're right - Peggy deserves it.


psychfun said...

Just ignore them, they have no clue. There are the goofiest people in this world. It is their issue!

mosie1944 said...

I can't believe someone is that crude.  I don't often comment, but I still follow your journal.  You are not a drama queen.  You're simply a woman who loves her sister and hates to lose her to Alzheimer's.

kwstkat48 said...

The love you have for your sister is heartwarming! Dont let "idiots" keep you from your feelings! Thats why blogs are so great....for people to express their feelings... I think your a wonderful lady...

pharmolo said...

Mary Louise,
That comment hurt you, because you are experiencing the emotions of losing a sister bit by bit. You find a small measure of relief through writing about it. The person who wrote that comment is not worthy to get upset over, as they are as ignorant as pigs, and I hope pigs aren't insulted by that simile. Ignore. Full stop. You and Peggy are better than that.


barbpinion said...

I can't believe anybody could be so cruel. I hope you know hon, that the majority of readers do NOT feel that way. Most of us appreciate your writings, understand that you are working through an enormous loss. We admire and respect you, and alway will.
Much love,

dwhee70041 said...

Mary Louise,
My father used to tell me that we have to share this world with dummies.  Unfortunately some are allowed to own computers and can type.  It's your journal, your outlet.  We love you for what you are and for what you write.  Keep it up.

ajquinn354 said...

In her heart Peggy does know you, I believe that.  Drama Queen, could of been called worse. LOL  Unless someone has had to live through what you and your family are going thru on a daily basis, they can't possibly know the ups and downs of your daily lives, so just ignore this persons comment to you.   I was an Office Manager of a 111 bed nursing home facility in Illinois and we had many alzheimer patients, so I truly understand the sadness you feel and the strain it puts on all of you who love your Peggy.  Plus your journal is a way for you to get release from your pain, keep doing it for you and Peggy and all the other folks who have loved ones with alzheimer. Arlene (AJ)

kirkbyj05 said...

I have never read your journal before until now when Guido sent me across to meet you.  
I have seen a neighbour suffer whilst watching his wife disappear in front of his eyes with this condition.  It is a cruel and slow death. The torture and stress is phenomenal whilst being a carer of a loved one with this heart rending illness. Whoever wrote the disparaging remarks mentioned needs a large injection of empathy and sensitivity given immediately.  Until they know all about what alzheimers entails he or she should withold their insensitive opinions. Being a carer entails 24 hours on 'duty'.  My neighbour had to lock his wife indoors as she would have walked, and tried it from time to time in all weathers, all the way to her homeland in Scotland from England.  The poor woman was exhausted when found each time.  I hope this person never has to go through what you or other carers have to do for their loved ones.  Often single handedly too.  Write as much as you like about your sister and all that it entails.  Someone somewhere might just be helped by your experiences.  Never mind Joe Bloggs!   God Bless your sister and you too.   Jeanie

springangel235 said...

Guido sent me....and I too feel as the dare they do that to have my prayers and support, for your loss...and remember...not all of us are bad...we care.
Many hugs and love,

motoxmom72 said...

Mary Louise I have followed your journal for about 2 years or so, now.  Anything you have written about your sister and your family has been BEAUTIFULLY done.  Mary Louise, Drama Queen?  Hmmmm.  OK.  Whatever.  You felt anger towards the person who put that negative comment out there.  I understand that totally.  It boggles the mind that someone could be so narrow minded to put a comment like that in the blogosphere and that person doesn't deserve attention from it.  The person doesn't need to be "won over" to understand what it's like.  Like you said- he/she probably wouldn't hear your words.  
The only lesson God could give this person is to have a loved one close to him/her suffer from Alzheimer's disease.
Don't give it another thought.  Peggy has been given a voice THROUGH YOU even though Alzheimer's has closed her off.  Don't stop.

sanforized6 said...

What a thoughtless jerk! He must live in a very lonely world, if he can't see the good in your writing. As I've told you many times, your story keeps me aware of appreciating every day, and also crying for the loss of a beautiful mind. rich

tendernoggle said...

My mama also has alzheimers/dementia...I finally had to place her in a nursing home, after years of trying to keep her in her own home. When it became dangerous for her to be alone, when the nurses said she had to have 24/7 care...I knew it was time,because I have to work to survive...
Right now she still remembers me...because I am there regularly...but she has forgotten some of the other children, and most of the grandchildren...I write about her sometimes in my is killing me to see my mama disappear....the day I walk in and she does not know me will be the day my heart will finish breaking...SO...Yes I know some of what you are going through and whoever wrote what they did about you and  your writing...well they ought to be ashamed of themselves...and I pray that one of their loved ones or themself will never get this disease...I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
hugs to you Mary Louise...

lowis6535 said...

   Peggy lives on!  As long as you & others that love her carry memories in your heart & mind ... THERE SHE IS ... JUST AS EVER!   It is like that old saying: "If a tree falls in the forest, & there is no one there to hear it ... was there really a sound?

lacaza3 said...

There are trolls out there never you mind this journal is for you and your kind enough to let us in...thanks you
Donna In TEXAS