TIME

TIME IS A FUNNY THING......

You either have too much of it or not enough.

A time to be born and a time to die.

What a person does with the time between being born and dying is interesting.

We usually don't realize the gravity of time until there is no more.

Peggy and I shared many good times but neither of us realized how short our time together would be.......

Even when she began to forget simple things...we never thought that our "time" would be cut so short.

Time has a way of being slow or fast.

When I am waiting on someone to arrive for a visit, the minutes seem to turn into hours. When they arrive, time speeds up and the visit is over in a flash. 

So, our moods reflect how we perceive time.

When I was 17, I had all the time in the world and everything moved much to slow for me.

Now, time goes too fast and weeks turn into years. Holidays come faster and my birthdays are every other week.

When Peggy first started to forget, I thought it would take a long time before she forgot who I was....

I was wrong.

From the first day that I knew that she had Alzheimer's disease to today was just a flash of time.

Time ran out  for us while I was living my life and planning the next week and next month. 

Peggy isn't dead but she has disappeared from my daily living. She has disappeared and my time moves on without her presence. Time continues and I continue to plan time for the day, the week, the month, the year. 

 Sometimes, I cry because Peggy doesn't have any more time. I cry because we don't have any more time and I miss her so much.

It never crossed my mind during the years that we shared, that time might not be ours forever. We were supposed to be old spry ladies together but........

TIME had other ideas. TIME ran out while we weren't looking and now, time has run out for us to share our lives as sister's.

Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton and Will Jennings

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

I am thankful for the time that Peggy and I shared as sister's but Oh..........how I wish that we had just one more hour. Just 60 short ticks of the clock!

How I wish that...

We had a little more time!

I Love You Today, Peggy!

I smile when I remember our time together. The laughter, the serious talks, the dreams and even the anger. It was.....

Our time and it went by much too fast!

Mary Louise

 

DRAMA QUEEN CROWNED

M. L. & PEGGY

 

I stumbled across a blog last night that had a comment about my journal.

It said...Watching My Sister...Disappear----Drama Queen Blog

At first, I was hurt, then upset, then angry.

How dare this person put a tag on my journal about losing my sister to Alzheimer's disease!

I couldn't get the comment out of my mind. I think he is right on some level because watching my sister disappear is real drama in my life.

I have received thousands of wonderful, supportive comments and yet this one, negative comment rolled around in my mind for quite a while.

This person dismissed my writing and it didn't feel good. I wished that I could talk to him and win him over by explaining how this disease effects family members. But he probably could not hear my words.

Losing someone you love,whether it is fast or slow and deserves a bit of drama.

 I am very serious about teaching what Alzheimer's and other brain deseases can do to the person affected and to all who love that person.

I think he needs to know Peggy before he decides that this journal is a waste of time for him and anyone who reads my words.

People grieve in different ways and writing this journal is my way to grieve over losing my sister.

W. M. S D.    Drama....Yes.

Writer of W. M. S. D.     Drama Queen.....O K.....At times, Yes.

Getting defensive over my style of writing....Yes!

Writing this journal and reading the support of so many people has made this journey..... not as lonely as it may have been.

I want to thank all of you for the comments of support over the years.

Personally, I think that Peggy deserves all the drama that I can write.

I will never let her disappear quietly for I am.......

The W. M. S. D. Drama Queen and Peggy is my sister!

I like the title after I got used to saying it to myself.  I know that Peggy would get a huge laugh if she knew that I had been labeled a D. Q. and knowing her, she would probably call me D. Q. for the rest of my life!  

 Peggy would make sure to remind me of my title every chance she got....... If only.....

She wasn't disappearing from Alzheimer's Disease and..... if only....

She still remembered who I am!                 

I Love You Today, Peggy!

 Mary Louise