Thursday, March 1, 2007

THE WINGS TO FLY

               MY SISTER IS MY HEART.

          SHE OPENS DOORS TO ROOMS....                THAT I NEVER KNEW WERE THERE.

SHE BREAKS THROUGH WALLS THAT.....

 I DON'T RECALL BUILDING.

SHE LIGHTS THE DARKEST CORNERS OF MY LIFE WITH THE SPARKLE IN HER EYES.

(Lisa Gorden)

This is what I miss about not having Peggy in my life.

Her mind is silent and her eyes have lost their sparkle.

There is no way that Peggy can open the doors to the many rooms of my heart.

She can no longer break through the walls that I build by living my daily life.

She can no longer light the darkest rooms of my heart with the sparkle in her eyes.

But I remember when Peggy's strength was a part of my life and I remember all that she taught me by being my sister.

Even birds push their young out of the nest so that they can learn to fly on their own.

 Peggy is no longer a part of my daily life. I have been pushed out of the nest that we had built as sisters.

I have learned that I am a strong woman.

I have learned that flying without her is lonely but that I can do it.

Alzheimer's disease took Peggy away but by doing so it..................

Gave me the wings to fly on my own,with confidence and purpose.

 Purpose.... to write about what it feels like from this side of Alzheimer's disease and not be embarrassed for people to read what I have written and most of all......

 Confidence... to fly and soar in my life, knowing that my sister cannot catch me if I fall.

Hey Peggy...I'm doing it........ Thank you for helping adjust my wings................... so that I can soar!

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

 

7 comments:

pharmolo said...

Your sister continues to be there in spirit, if not in flesh, Mary Louise. You carry her within you, by virtue of the memories. And thereby you soar.

wendy4145 said...

I love this" I have been pushed out of the nest that we had built as sisters."  And you are soaring on your own.

That is such a healthy way to deal with this!

Love,
Wendy

dimundntheruf69 said...

wonderful entry...
you always remind me of my own sister who is 10 years older than myself....
she is the wind beneath my wings.....so I understand how you feel...and how it would take an awful lot of adjusting on my part if I lost her in any way...
~Christie

barbpinion said...

Hi hon. This is one of your best entries, one everybody with a sister can relate too. I'm sorry you've lost Peggy, but in truth, she's as near to you as ever she was- except in a different way. You're the one flying- she's the one who make it possible. Everything you shared growing up is with you still, just in different ways.
HUGS, and much love. I appreciate you so much for writing for all of us. I know it has taught all your readers about a disease they might have to face one day.
Thank you...and God bless you.
Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK

purplehazebarn said...

Always love the analygies you make in your entries about your sister's Alzheimer's Disease.  Helped to put lots of things into perspective for me.  Over a year ago I made a change in my life, nothing wrong, illegal or sinful, but it was something that my sister didn't agree with me about, and she "pushed me out of the nest!"  Did it hurt, you bet it did!  Over 70 years of being the protected "baby sister". and suddenly, because I made a choice that in my opionion was right for me, all those years seemed to evaporate.  But then, ten short months later, she died very unexpectedly.  Was she just preparing me to go on without her?  I like to think, that even if unknowingly, that is what she did for me.  I know you have no choice, and you have to accept Peggy leaving you, but I am so thankful that I spread my wings, and with help from friends, started to live again.  Like you, I loved my sister, but so glad I took the risk, and followed my heart--even without knowing there were only months left that we could have continued that tight bond.  I am confident, now she sees things differently.  Sorry for rambling.  Much love, LaVern

magogos said...

I agree with all those who have commented here. I just want to thank you for your fearlessnes in all you write. Peggy has given you one last gift6-your own wings. Margo

lowis6535 said...

  I have not a pithy comment at the moment.  I am glad that you express your feelings & document the progression of both Peggy & you thru this ordeal.  I am glad that so many people are likewise in empathy ... & relating your experiences to their own lives.
LOIS